#anyway all this to say vegetables are on the horizon!!! as are having little treats and stuff!!

[onrainynights]

JOB ACHIEVED. FINALLY

[emberkeelty]

Gosh I have so many thoughts about the Sapphic Showdown discourse!

Personal bias disclaimer: I've never watched Supergirl and have zero interest in watching Supergirl. Meanwhile, Utena is one of my favorite stories ever that I consider a classic and a masterpiece. Under just about any conceivable context, if you were to ask me, "Which is better, Utena or-" I would cut you off right there and just say, "Utena." Okay? Okay!

I'm going to use this post as a jumping-off point. I'm linking instead of reblogging first of all because I don't want to make my followers have to read through OP's belligerence before getting to see whether I'm agreeing with or contesting it (I am definitely contesting it!) and second of all because I would rather if at all possible avoid dragging OP into a confrontation about this. I don't know anything about her beyond this one post that showed up on my dash via reblog. I have no reason to think she isn't a perfectly fine person overall. Also, just saying, she seems like she has good taste in anime. Anyway, that post is useful because it shows the brackets and also sums up what seems to be the central point of The Discourse:

this is just Exhibit A of Fandom People™ caring more about “shippable” characters and having “ship moments” than they do actual canon queer rep

First of all, I don't think the poll results actually mean much. For one thing, we know that paid bots get involved with polls like these. For another... as far as media that centers female characters goes, Supergirl is about as mainstream as it gets. It's live action, English language, and based on a corporate IP. Superheroes are currently fashionable and no longer even a little bit nerdy. Superman is the most timeless and well-known superhero of all, and most people have probably at least heard of his constellation of spinoffs. Supergirl winning a popularity contest over anything even a little bit more niche is just regression to the mean. All it says about the people voting for it is that they have basic taste, and I mean that in the least insulting way possible.

Second of all, let's say this is a demonstration of what the above sentence claims it demonstrates. In the context of a twitter popularity poll with zero real-world consequences... why would that even matter? What tangible harm is being done by LGBT people - and in the context of "Fandom People" who care either about f/f shippiness or actual canon queer rep (or both!), we are talking mainly about fans who are LGBT, many of them specifically queer women - getting more personal enjoyment out of something basic and mainstream than out of something politically important? How much impact is that really going to have on what media gets made going forward, let alone how LGBT women are treated more broadly on a societal level?

I would say it's actually the opposite of progressive to insist that the mere existence of LGBT people is so inherently political that we shouldn't ever get to relax and do normal, harmless human things like openly enjoying mediocre television, but must instead dedicate every moment of our lives to performing a political identity. The only actual utility value of a random LGBT person's personal enjoyment of media is the enjoyment itself. In this case, "let people enjoy things" isn't a cop-out, but a coherent ethical stance with the aim of maximizing utility.

I do think that some people who went for Supergirl over any of the other options might personally benefit on some level from broadening their horizons, and that personal benefit might in turn have some infinitesimal knock-on benefit to the broader community. But framing this as purely a matter of "supporting" the media with the "best" "representation" as part of a political performance is actively counterproductive to that goal, because it erases the possibility of joy in engaging with queer media and turns it into a chore - "eating your vegetables," as one particularly obnoxious old-school fangirl said in her infamous and widely mocked essay on engaging more with marginalized characters as an unpleasant but morally improving project rather than a labor of love.

Now, all of the above is pretty similar to stuff I've seen said before in the context of discussions about m/m fandom, which I have zero stake or interest in. What makes the Sapphic Showdown so interesting to me is that I have more specific in-depth knowledge and opinions on a lot of the media being discussed, so I'm going to get into some of my thoughts about that.

One thing that immediately jumped out to me was Alphyne from Undertale being held up as a canon ship that everyone should in every possible context care about more than whatever is going on in Supergirl simply because it is canon and therefore Actual Rep. Undertale is one of my all-time favorite games, and it means a lot to me that it contains a canon f/f couple, and I myself love Undyne and Alphys and have had way more intense feelings about them both as individual characters and as a couple than I will ever have about anything or anyone in Supergirl. BUT. It is worth mentioning that they are secondary characters whose relationship gets relatively little onscreen development. I think it is pretty understandable for audiences to get more emotionally invested in relationships that get more narrative focus, whether those relationships are actually canon queer or just shippy! Catradora is so compelling not just because they declare their love for each other and kiss onscreen, but because they do that as part of the climactic scene that the whole story was building up to. Catra's and Adora's love for each other and the thorny, difficult road they took to realizing it is the very heart of the show! And that "central relationship" element can be there even when the relationship in question isn't necessarily canonically romantic. I don't know how much that's the case with Kara/Lena, but one example I can point to is NagiHono from Futari Wa Precure. The show wastes an unfortunate amount of time establishing and maintaining plausible deniability about Nagisa's sexuality, but her het crush is only ever hovering on the margins of the story, where her ambiguously gay bond with Honoka is the very heart of the show. The two girls stand together against the end of the world, repeatedly putting their lives on the line for each other. To me as a lesbian watching this, it means something when Nagisa lies in bed with Honoka and says, "I'll be by your side forever, if you'll have me, even though I'm not good at domestic stuff," and when she calls her "my most important person," and the show's refusal to commit to this being what it looks like can't completely erase that meaning.

Another thing that needs to be said is that it's kind of hypocritical to be having this discussion over Utena in particular, given that the canonicity of Utena/Anthy in the tv series is... uh... complicated. Ikuhara was basically always treating it as romantic, but Saito was vehemently against that! In terms of what made it to the screen, the story only comes together thematically if you accept that they are in love, but it is possible to refuse to accept that without resorting to blatantly countertextual readings. Utena denies that her feelings for Anthy are in any way sexual as late as the third-to-last episode. It's clear that something big changes in the last two episodes when she regains her repressed memories and rejects her false prince, but she never has the chance to articulate that as explicitly as she articulated her earlier denials. And you know, I think any framework under which the Utena tv series could be treated as a lesser work than every and any show where two women explicitly declare their romantic love and kiss each other is not really a framework worth engaging with.

And really, the whole idea that the entire point of media as it relates to LGBT people is to have Good Representation is just a set-up for tearing down anything less than perfect - which is ultimately everything, because it's impossible for any one show to be all things to all people. We've seen this with people denigrating everything that came before She-Ra when Catradora kissed, and again with people denigrating She-Ra when Lumity got together mid-series rather than right at the end. Other people have explained how this is a really bad state of affairs for anyone who cares either about getting to see fictional LGBTQ characters on screen or about the well-being of the real-world LGBTQ creators who put them there, and I'm running out of steam, so I'll just point out that saying people's most important criteria in what ships they like should always be political purity feeds into it, and that's not good!

[mirisss]

Living the Dream

(Photo edited by me)

Jooyeon x female reader

Word count ≈ 1.2k

Warnings: None

(Y/n)’s POV

It’s Saturday today and that means, I’m on my to hang out with my boyfriend - Lee Jooyeon, aka the maknae, bassist, and vocalist of JYP Entertainment’s new band Xdinary Heroes. Jooyeon and I have been dating for almost a year, for 11 months to be exact. Even though it might be a bit cliché he asked me out on Valentine’s day so we’re approaching our 1 year anniversary. Bottom line is that we began dating before he debuted and I am not with him for the fame or whatever. I am his biggest fan, of course, but to me, he’s Lee Jooyeon the cute and dorky boy from home-room class. The cute and dorky boy who frowns when he sees vegetables on his plate, the boy who can’t help but smile anytime someone compliments him, the boy who asked me to be his girlfriend by singing a dorky song he wrong while playing the bass - yes it sounded weird but I loved it because I love him. Anyway, I’m on my way to hang out with Jooyeon and his band-mates. It’s like Jooyeon’s and my tradition, we always hang out on Saturdays, and usually, we either watch a movie or we play some songs together. I play the guitar, he plays the bass, and we both sing. But now, seeing as he’s in a band, we usually do our ‘playing music’ dates with the rest of the members. It’s a lot of fun, I get to feel like I’m in the band as well. Hanging out with the XH members is amazing, they’re all super nice and a lot of fun. Gaon and Jun Han have also taught me a couple of difficult riffs which made it all the more fun to play with them. Jooyeon is also trying to teach me how to play the bass, along with Gunil teaching me the drums though that isn’t going too well. Overall, the members, except for Jooyeon of course, all treat me like a little sister. They always welcome me with smiles and the rest of them have promised me that if Jooyeon ever were to break my heart they would break him. Not that I think Jooyeon actually would break my heart nor do I think any of the others would or could break him. 

As I reached the company building, I found Jooyeon waiting outside for me. He enveloped me into a sweet hug and I gave him a kiss on the cheek before he took my hand and we walked into the building. Doing PDA outside was risky but we hadn’t been caught yet and none of the employees had told us we can’t do things like that so… yolo, I guess. “So, what song are we doing today Joo?” “I don’t know, we waited for you to arrive before deciding anything,” “I guess that’s better so we don’t end up like last week when I had no idea how to play that song,”

We soon arrived outside the studio where we usually hung out for these band sessions. Jooyeon opened the door and as soon I stepped inside I was ambushed with ‘HI HELLO’ and a hug from a very excited Gaon. “Ah! Gaon-ah you almost made me fall over haha” “hey, hyung, remember she’s my girlfriend,” Jooyeon said in a whiny voice. “And? She’s my little sister,” Gaon answered back in a teasing voice, still hugging me. “Number 1, Please let me go, number 2. I’m not actually your little sister but keep dreaming of having someone as amazing as me as your sister. Number 3. Jooyeon-ah stop so being jealous, you know I don’t see the others in that way,” “I know I know. But still, I have to remind them sometimes,” Gaon let go of me after I asked him to so I walked back over to Jooyeon and gave him another kiss on the cheek. “Ugh! Stop with the PDA and let’s get started on playing our imaginary show!” This time it was Seungmin, or O.De, who spoke. “Okay okay. What song are we playing?” I asked as I looked around at all of them, curious to find out what song they’re wanting to play. “Well, we were thinking of Bring Me The Horizon’s Drown as we are going to play it on a show in a couple of days and it would be kind of fun to hear you singing it as well. What do you say?” Gunil explained and asked. “Sounds good to me, I love that song though I just have to check out the chords for it however I do know the lyrics, so what part should I sing?” “Why don’t you sing these parts with Jooyeon? He’s supposed to sing these so you two can sing them together? Or do you want some other part?” Jungsu showed me a paper where both the chords were written down as well as the lyrics and he pointed towards two sections lined with pink to signal it being Jooyeon’s parts. I looked it over and thought it was a good idea so I nodded in return before focusing on the chords. “Jun Han-ah, could you just play this part because I’m not sure I remember how it’s supposed to be played.” I pointed towards a section that was a bit tricky to make out on the paper. “Of course, (Y/n)-(ah or ya depending on your name). It sounds like this,” And so Jun Han played the part and it sounded really good along with him accompanying it with his smooth voice. “Thank you! Okay, then I’m ready to play,” And so we played the song a few times together before I stepped back and let them play it alone once. Wow, it was amazing. I think the fans are gonna go crazy once they hear this one.  Soon the day was over and I had to go home. Jooyeon decided to come with me and spend a night in my apartment. 

Jooyeon’s POV (once they are in (Y/n)’s apartment

Sometimes I really wonder if my life is a dream. I’ve debuted in an awesome band that everyone compliments saying we have so much potential and a bright future. On top of that, I have the greatest girlfriend in the world. She’s so understanding of me being an idol now and that I won’t always have time to be with her but she found a way for us to spend more time together. Band session Saturdays, I still get to practice with the band and I get to hang out with my girlfriend. She gets along great with the other guys, so really my life is perfect right now. 

Now here we are cuddling in her bed, watching some movie, just enjoying a moment together. “(Y/n), thank you,” “For what?” “Just for being you. And being supportive of me, and for being the most beautiful person I’ve ever met and ever will meet. Thank you for being my girlfriend,” “Jooyeon, you don’t need to thank me for that. But if you want to thank me for that then I am going to say thank you to you too.” “I love you,” “I love you too, Jooyeon” And so we went back to being silent, in each other’s embrace just laying there until we fell asleep. 

[crybabytoy59]

The ultimate backwards way forward….

1. The day had finally come all the hours, days, weeks, months and years even.....That had lead to this one intrepid moment. Tonight He (Mark) stood before Her “Chrissy”....Shaking whilst doing as instructed, he was to put his Big clothes into the black bags in front her. She would decide what if any we’re to be kept. All things related to his Big life went in…

 Next She sat him down in only a cartoon disposable & a onesie ! He sat & listened as she reinforced her Will as the midnight deadline approached !... 

 She spoke very gently, a deep love of genuinely wishing to take him to his “little place”,  Yes his Big had pushed back and fought at times but this was IT her words would be final !  No turning back whatsoever no wriggling out. A new life lay ahead as Chrissy delicately spoke….

2. “Now sweet-pea  all your big things are away and in fifteenth minutes you will be My Bunny, my BabyBoy & I your Mommy I will treat you as a baby always & this you will come to accept through Mommy’s intense retraining of you to become that infant baby again we will take you back mentally & physically to a small child, Mommy’s cute toddler In nappies 24/7 ….

This will not be easy at first but please trust Mommy, she is going to help you mentally to be the baby that hangs on to every one of Mommy’s kind nurturing words….. So Bunny are you ready hmmm, Are you ready my darling baby boy? 

3. Mark took a huge breath but still the words came out at a tremor…..“Yyes am rready Mommy, I realise my fears will at times test you for that I am truly sorry… but I do wish for this deep inside, so any fears I have, I gladly hand them to your care & compassion, to regress and nurture me into who & what we Both wish for…So yes Mommy your “Baby boy” wants this with all his heart.... Mommy hugged him tightly, anticipating the clock in the nursery awaiting for it to strike Midnight !! ...

4. The nursery was a work of art they had both built together a room where Baby Mark was dwarfed by the furniture within the nursery ! .......As the big hand met the little hand of midnight…Mommy began to speak almost in a whisper…“Baby? give Mommy her “Gift” of your submission.”

5. She smiled warmly watching the mirror as her baby began wetting the cartoon disposable, she could see it changing colour through the soft white plastic pants, she stroked his hair soothingly as the nappy began to swell outwards…“Clever Baby All done Sweet-pea?” (he nodded into her soft shoulder welling up slightly in the knowledge that this was his “Gift”, his submission to her, the first act of remaining in nappies 24/7 at Mommy’s will)

The very smell of her soft flesh had always made him feel a Deep want of regression ! But tonight she smelt Devine. Chrissy had taken a shower before this chat, washing her hair with Johnston’s Baby shampoo,  she then oiled  her whole body with baby oil! Knowing the effect it would have on Mark, pushing him over the sensory edge....After all the Hot pulsing between her legs drove her want of complete control over him! …“Clever Boy let’s get you changed & down for the night in your onesie and blue booties, then I'll read you a nice little story”….

6. As he waddled slowly forward, suddenly Mommy barked “And what do you think you are doing Mr? ” ...He was puzzled by this remark & Mommy’s new stern tone? Mommy simply smiled saying “Are you a big toddler yet Crinkle Butt? No, you are not ! All fours baby... Now! As what did Mommy say to you about obedience? (He got down on all fours, as she wished, knowing soon he would have the blue crawling booties on with the nasty studs that made walking near impossible anyway! ) 

That and the ankle cuffs with the tiny locks would make removing them a futile task!)… As he crawled Mommy patted baby’s botty “Much better see you can be a clever Bunny for Mommy! ” Baby jolted forwards as Mommy spanked him full force ! “Pardon Baby? ”...  Yethss mommy ! ...

 “Much better think we just earned our first “redstar” baby Yes?” …. “Wess mommy sworry…” “Clever Baby you can put it on the naughty behaviour chart after Mommy changes that soggy bott bott of your’s ehy? Up on the changing table then Mr, let’s get that wet  nappy off & your special night time dipee on!”

7. As baby got up on the table he could feel the soggy thin cartoon nappy sagging! ... Complete humiliation overcoming him at his new lot in life, a true baby boy status started to hit home. God how he loved this girl so much, knowing he would now no longer be able to touch her in a Big way he felt that new part of the Humiliation was ever looming and yet to come pressing closer. Mommy was very clever, astute and thorough, she would have a lot in store for her new charge.…Mommy tugged the plastic pants down “Someone has a soggy bumbum! look at this wet nappy Mr! (He couldn’t miss it in full view from the mirrored ceiling over the changing station ! This had been Chrissy’s idea as she loved the Humiliation element that it brought! )…“Aaawww don’t fret your going to be doing this all the time now Crinkle Butt!...As Mommy is going to make sure you become such a dribbling dependant little boy”….she chuckled lightly...There seemed to be a glint in her eyes too. 

8. The clean up was very intense & had baby stirring underneath her! She reapplied the thick white cream paying just enough attention to all the right spots then she delicately but quickly slid the night time pluggie in. This was Very large & could be adjusted to vibrate with a very intense level if was required… baby gasped as Mommy pushed it all the way home! As Baby moved she chuckled lightly and playfully spanked the huge night time nappy to a dull thud once she was done! “Mommy's little drum.” she cooed. “ All that padding is going to make sure you will stay safe till morning Sweet-pea… “Now come to Mommy”. He instinctively crawled towards her open lap, she guided him to rest his head in her arms and his back against her leg. 

Mommy stretched across to her right side, reaching for the giant glass night time bottle, full with the formula she had earlier prepared.

10. “Take hold with your mittens Sweet-pea, Mommy wants to see how you do, if its to heavy then I will hold it too” She now began to playfully stroke and tease his nipples as he held the bottle unsteadily! The gurgling was instant behind the milky teat as baby had developed very sensitive little nipples, just as she had designed! Straining in his bulky nappy wiggling gently on the spot between her, the whimpering and soft moans started up as the bottle continued to empty. When baby finished the last drops of formula she began to rub and stroke his back, gently massaging him encouraging those little burpies out... Baby squealed as he nearly had an accident at the same! “Ok Sweet-Pea off to Beddie Byes.” She gently held and led his shaking hand.  “But first please put the star up on Your chart!” Baby took a red star off the pad & put it onto the first square of naughty chart… (The red stars were for a Sunday evening’s end of week  “punishment time” If he had gold stars that would bring a reward) But red !...............Mommy patted the mattress on the double bed sized Cot. “Ok Bunny Boy hop up into your cot now.” He would sleep with Mommy Bear at ni nights time (but unbeknown to Baby, he'd be napping in the day time as well, part of her new routine she had in store for him)! She patted again “Position Baby !”…or do you want a second Red star “!...She chuckled as He scrambled into the cot positioning himself for Mommy!

11. Mommy lifted up the little blue booties to his new horizon line. She took the first swiftly and deftly to his toesies slipping it on his right foot, click the ankle cuffs latched shut. Next was the left, it too had the same bemusing locking system, designed so the Baby (him) could not free himself from the deceivingly cute little slippers. He'd never seen how the locks worked. Click... She smiled at him gently, knowing that the spiked shoes would limit his ability to now stand unaided and maximise her ability to retrain him to a more appropriate babyish crawl. Yes they would make life much easier outdoors too...  “Clever Boy,  almost done, then we can have that chat and Mommy will read you your bed time story after… ok baby?” ( “Wess Mommy” ) Clever boy Mommy does so love those manners Sweet-Pea well done!”

12. Now a little afraid realising he was properly in Mommy’s world. Things would continue to happen now that he would have no control over.  Next Mommy lifted his brand new dummy, he had not seen this one before! It must have been a recent purchase, this one was an extra large sized red yellow and blue primary coloured affair. She knew it had been designed specifically to help him dribble (just a little) and make his big boy words very difficult !! 

Putting it into his mouth she moved to his ear and whispered softly “Mommy wants you to nurse on this dum dum sweetie, I won't fasten it into place just yet unless you show me that you can't be trusted, OK?” It was a rhetorically phrased question that didn't need an answer, but there was that same look in her eyes.

13. “Now Sweet-pea first we'll have our wee chat then Mommy will read you a nice story before ni-nights. Your going to need lots of sleep Bunny Boy as Mommy has lots of adventures in store for you tomorrow ! … Now listen very closely as I will say this only once….Mommy is going to have you fast for five days ....This is to strengthen baby’s immune system and also induce a bit of a body reset, then on day six we will start your new baby food regime… This will be all fruit and vegetables as Mommy is going to have a very health baby… So then Baby,  you can get adjusted to those adorable nappies nice & easily...Your only going to be drinking fluids for the next five days first though, so Mommy is focusing on those soggy bum bums to begin with, then we will work up to your mushies…Your such a cutie for sucking on your new binkie like a good boy. Well done!

14. “She chuckled lightly lifting the story book to begin…

The alternate “100 Acre Wood”......

 God she was so dam hot there and then, in her best condescending cooing Mommy voice. She began “Once upon a time there lived a boy who was very very lonely inside,  he desperately wanted to have a friend. Out walking one day in the woods he found a small bunny, it hopped right over to him and began hugging the boy tightly.....The rabbit started to gently speak to the boy! “Hello Crinkle Butt ....The boy protested to the Rabbit “Am a not a Crinkle Butt!”....But the Bunny simply chuckled “I know who you really are Silly! The boy looked around but nobody was there? As he turned around the rabbit stood beside him again swatting his bottom Thwack !!... “I suppose this isn't your nappy then Crinkle Butt?”  The boy stayed quiet as he felt embarrassed. But the Bunny Smiled gently and hugged him even tighter. Bunny the Rabbit then took Crinkle Butt’s hand ....“Best we get back inside or Mommy will be angry with us & we will get the hairbrush! The boy took the rabbits hand, as he too hated the hairbrush spankings.....“Ok Bunny we best hurry then as it’s getting dark & Mommy will want us fed & then to Nigh nights”.....They both skipped through the puddles getting Mud all over their legs! ...On the porch Mommy was already waiting standing with her arms folded....Babies look at the colour of you !.... She held out her finger pointing to inside, that’s when both Babies noticed Mommy already had the hairbush!”....oh bother.

15. “Now Sweet-pea I think that’s enough for tonight, Mommy can see you are looking tired I'll read you some more tomorrow if your a good boy. She gently stroked his face “Off to sleepies now.....She began to start the lullaby mobile that hung overhead and the cute little noises and lights softly sprung into action and gently soothed her precious little one into the land of dreams...Mommy lifted the plug remote and set it to the night time precycle with the hypnotic recordings ! These would play all night as the monitor recorded his sleep & dream patterns, it would match the patterns playing the recording & pluggie vibes to their best effects.....Night after night she would subliminally reprogram his brain to be a contented infant Baby Boy... To her will... to her wants... to her Deepest held desire over controlling him, but also letting him be the baby he was destined to become! This would be Absolute !! Her new hypnotherapist friend would help with new insertions of “trigger words” that would become instant in there use over him, no matter where, no matter when or who they were with !.....Fuck every inch of her was tingling with her desire to further his regression......

She looked down at him all safe in that cot with an oversized dummy bouncing in and out. Fuck he was already hungrily sucking on that dummy! Her Chest ached with anticipation....This was just the start, she held all the cards, she had everything ready for the morning & for the day’s events......Time to sleep though, putting her arm over his chest a small whimper came......She smiled to herself...Tomorrow he would go through so many trials and emotions. Day by day his emotional state would become much easier to control due to her fasting retraining, first hunger & loss of energy...then as the energy started to peak later on in the week she would simple take a sense from him so as to have more control mentally over his nappies!....awash with thoughts flashing through her mind she settled down to sleep knowing the “Hypno-Mommy” tapes would be working there magic on him....These she would use as she put him down for his afternoon nap too!

[ill-skillsgard]

Bred For Blood - Part 19 - Promise-Promise

Title: Bred For Blood

Warning: 18+ - sex/mature language & themes/gun violence/substance abuse etc. *mentions of coma/unconsciousness, injuries, and sex in this part*

Characters: AU Axel Cluney, AU Ivar Lothbrok, AU Valter x OC

Description: A bright, young survivor meets an acid-gun slinging headhunter with a knack for melting faces and connections to a prodigal Utopia embedded in the heart of a deadly forest. Violence and passion incite a battle of fealty while betrayal nips at Zed’s heels.

Note: Sooo many feelings in this part, you guys. Next part will be the finale! My gosh, it’s actually coming. Stick around because it’s gonna be a doozy! Much love to all the readers who’ve waited patiently and shout out to any new readers who’ve taken the time to let me know their thoughts. I appreciate all the comments and reblogs forever! With that being said, please comment and reblog. It’d really make my day. XO

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

Zed waited for Vee next to the window overlooking the vast green ocean of vegetation. The sliver of sun painted the sky aflush, rolling west in shades of violet. Pinprick stars perforated the melting spectrum, and the phantom moon showed its impatient face fully before the horizon swallowed all light. It was a soothing array of scenery, and Zed rested her head on the glass until footsteps drew her attention to the door. She smiled as Vee came in carrying a plate of zucchini fritters and mashed chickpeas, returning the warm greeting silently.

"Hungry? Axel wasn't a fan. He wants a cheeseburger from McDonald's," said Vee, handing the platter to Zed.

She accepted the dish with a nod. "Did you tell him why that's not possible?"

Vee sighed. The dark beneath his eyes seemed permanent now. "I didn't get into detail. He wouldn't understand."

"Shouldn't we make him understand?"

"It's too soon. The big lug just woke up. It was a challenge just to get him to lie there. Soon he'll want to leave the lab, and I don't know how he'll fare around his adoring fans."

Zed bit into a greasy fritter and scooped a dollop of the paste with the leftover crescent. "He'll love the ego-boost, I'm sure."

"That's what I'm afraid of. All those people will confuse him. Who knows what that might do to his head. We're in a delicate situation."

"Axel seems to like me. Maybe I can convince him to stay put."

Vee grimaced from the thought of Axel working Zed over with his motoring mouth and crass sense of humour. The scientist had grown accustomed to nights alone with her, cooking together and discussing their future. The night they'd spent alone in the greenhouse rang in his heart; the night he admitted his feelings and begged her to squash them. The thought of her alone with Axel picked a scab he didn't know he had.

"You're worried about something," Zed said.

Vee snapped from his bittersweet reverie and sighed. "Am I ever not worrying?"

"True," Zed snorted. "Now, eat. I can't finish this all myself."

The pair finished the plate before Vee set the dish aside and motioned her to the sofa.

"We need to talk about what we found in Glott's notes. I know we can't test this theory, but we should treat it as the truth," said Vee.

"Okay, well, if that's how we're approaching this D negative blood sample... What's the next step? We have no medical supplies. I checked the med tent in the courtyard for the third time just for fun."

"Then we have to visit Glott and get some answers. And by we... I mean me."

"Valter—"

"I know you don't want me to leave, but what other option do we have? Every day we waste here is another step backward."

Zed shook her head until a thin braid dislodged from behind her ear and swung in her face. Vee resisted the urge to tuck it back. The girl's face swivelled toward the window, and she pondered and watched the premature stars twinkle across the bruised sky.

"We go together," Zed said firmly. "I won't budge on that."

"And what about Axel?"

"We wait until he's better. We'll need him to navigate the way."

"And if he never recovers?" Vee asked.

"Then we go anyway. All three of us. We get Axel better, and we go together."

Vee inhaled through his nose as Zed screwed her eyes into his. When he nodded, a smile unfurled across her face, shadowed by the last drops of brassy sunlight.

"I hate this plan, but I suppose it's all we have," said Vee.

"Promise we'll all stick together."

"Of course, Lea. I won't leave without you guys. Promise."

"Promise-promise?"

"I double promise with a cherry on top. Stick a needle in my eye and call it macaroni."

Zed stifled laughter beneath her palm. "I think you've been hanging out with Sam too much."

"That, or I'm just tired."

"I'll let you sleep now. You look beat."

Vee twisted his mouth in lopsided agreement. "Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna hit the shower first. Unless you want to?"

"No, you go ahead. I'll stay here a little longer," Zed said as she laid her temple against the cool glass and looked out over the forest floor, now drowning in the twilight.

~*~

In the morning, Zed left the apartment and padded down the hallway in her mismatched slippers. She slowed as she turned the corner and found the brothers talking. Axel's eyebrows were locked in a line, and Vee looked up at her with relief.

"Lea, can you help me explain to Axel why he can't leave the hospital room?"

Axel whipped the covers off his thighs. "This place is fuckin' weird, and I know you're lying to me. That doctor you had in here is a whack-job. Something isn't adding up."

"Stay put," Vee commanded.

Zed rubbed the sleep from her eyes and prepared to take both sides with a long breath. "Axel, your brother is right. You can't leave yet. Just stay a little longer and heal."

"Where the fuck am I, Vee? This isn't like any hospital I've ever been to. And why can't I use the phone to call mom and dad?"

Axel's question erased all the sleep Vee had gotten the night before. His fatigue was contagious. Zed approached the bed and brushed Axel's shoulder. The touch diffused the tension in his upper body and opened him up to a new explanation, one that hadn't come from his kid brother's mouth.

"There are no phones here, Axel. You're right... This place is different. We're missing a lot of things you’d consider normal."

"Look, darlin', I know you're just trying to make me feel better, but none of what you're saying makes any sense. What do you mean there's no phone? There's electricity, isn't there? So why can't I hobble my way to a pay phone or borrow someone's cell?"

Vee and Zed exchanged pained looks. The younger brother kneaded his brow and offered Axel the same explanation he had before, reworded. Axel refused to believe a word and scrambled off the gurney, throwing Vee's hands off him as he limped a few steps and realized his mistake.

"What the fuck is wrong with my foot? Did someone sliced my ankle in half? What is happening to me? I feel like I'm on an acid trip that never ends. I go to sleep and see crazy shit, only to wake up in an even crazier place where there're no phones and no fucking food! You're talking in goddamn riddles, Vee. The least you can do is get me a Baconator for my trouble! I can't walk—I can't even jerk off 'cause my good hand is fucked. You gotta help me out."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Axe? There are no restaurants!"

"Bullshit! Sweetheart, come on, you can help me, right? Can you please just grab me something greasy? I'll pay you back, I promise. I'm good for it."

"I wish I could help you, Axel, but Vee's right. There's nowhere to get stuff like that anymore."

"Anymore? What does that even mean? You guys are talking like I slept through the apocalypse or something!"

Zed turned to Vee, who blocked the way to the courtyard. "Come on, Axe. Just settle down, and get back into bed."

"Are you gonna find me some painkillers then?" Axel faltered toward the bed and hoisted himself onto the flat mattress with his right arm.

"I'll see what I can do, buddy, but will you promise to stay here for a little longer?"

"Whatever," Axel scoffed. "What else am I gonna do?"

Zed waited until Axel slid back under the covers and tilted his face away from them both to assess Vee's mood. She suspected Axel's recovery would be difficult. Still, when she pictured him with his eyes open again, she heard laughter and saw game nights, shared wine and inside jokes knitting them closer together—not disarray and a friend who'd forgotten her. And if Vee had left the day he championed himself, Axel wouldn't have any flagship of his past. The scientist's presence tranquillized her despite Axel's rotten mood fouling the atmosphere.

"You're hungry, Axel?" Zed asked.

"Starving."

"I'll try to track down something tasty to eat. It won't be a greasy burger, but maybe I can find you something close to fries. I'll make it myself if I have to."

Axel flipped his eyes to the girl standing with her arms knotted behind her back and smiled. "Oh, darlin'...You're a sweet thing. I'd hate to ask, so I'll just accept the offer. Or maybe Vee can go, and you and I can chat a little more?"

Zed chuckled at the man's slyness. "I have some other things to do. We’ll talk when I get back."

"Don't rush for me, honey, but if you do, I'll take it as a good sign," Axel said with a wink.

At the cost of one of her knit blankets, Zed found someone in Athena to chop and bake a sweet potato in peanut oil. She bartered for garlic and salt to sprinkle on the dish. The redheaded child spotted her making transactions and stopped her at the mouth of the Hives with a cloth of fermented cashew cheese and a large chunk of bread that sat out overnight but was still soft. She offered the foodstuffs to Axel on a thin wood slab, and he accepted with an obsequious grin. He relinquished his dissatisfaction and warmed next to Zed.

"Aw, darlin', look at you go. How can I thank you for your trouble?" Axel asked as he chomped a crispy strand of sweet potato.

Zed stepped back from his bed, blushing. "It's okay, Axel. You don't have to do anything but get better."

"Will you stay with me for a while? If I have to stay in bed, it'd really make my life easier if I have someone to talk to. That is if you don't mind my chattiness."

"Sure. Let me grab a chair from the apartment," said Zed.

Axel finished his meal quickly, and as if he hadn't eaten at all, felt the pang of hunger moments after the last bite of bread. His appetite woke up ravenous, and no amount of homegrown food could satiate the growl.

"I might need to eat again in an hour," Axel informed as Zed dragged the chair across the floor. “I’m a big boy, you know.”

"That's fine. I'll find you something in a little while ."

The injured man nodded and sighed, eyelashes fluttering over tired green eyes. A bloated silence proceeded, and Zed wondered how to initiate a conversation. Vee told her not to confuse Axel with present-day news, but all she wanted to do was ask about Richard Glott's underground bunker and with who he'd crossed paths that left him slashed and maimed.

After a couple of deep breaths, Axel murmured, "I see you in my dreams every time I fall asleep. Is that strange?"

Zed hid her shy smile behind her palm. "Oh, stop."

Axel shimmied his torso higher on the bed and frowned in pain. "No, seriously. Not trying to be slick, honey. I see the most fucked up things when I sleep. You know the kind of dreams so vivid, you wake up and your heart’s pounding, thinking it's all real for a minute? Then you're like... No way."

Zed shifted closer to Axel's bed. "What do you dream about?"

Axel smiled to himself. "You, mostly... Us. You and me doing crazy shit together. Sometimes I'm in the desert, and I see this airplane in the distance. It's on the ground, and I ride toward it, you know, you're not gonna ignore a crashed plane, right? Then I find you there, but these guys are hurting you, and you're going nuts trying to shake 'em, but there's too many, so I shoot 'em all, and they melt like popsicles. You stab one good, though."

"What else?" Zed asked.

"I dunno... Sometimes it's just me and you cruising through the desert, and I get the feeling you hate me, but I kinda like it. I'm happy you're there, even though we're in the middle of nowhere, and I have no idea what's gonna happen next."

"Sounds like some pretty weird dreams."

"They're so lucid. It's like a movie, and I'm the main character, and you're... Well, you. Like my cool sidekick."

"Sidekick, huh?" Zed scoffed.

"Yeah, you have this air about you that's like not to be fucked with. Then things always get real dark. I don't even want to tell you about it 'cause you'll think I'm fucked in the head."

Zed knew this part of the story and lowered her eyes to the floor. "It's okay. You can tell me if you want. It's just dreams, right?"

"Nah, I'll just leave it at that. It's not sex stuff or anything if you're wondering."

"Your dreams are more entertaining than anything I have going on today."

With Zed's green light, Axel inhaled deeply before launching into the story of their past. Before he uttered another syllable, a severed connection sparked in his head. His eyes grew large, and he looked around the makeshift hospital room, awestruck.

"In my dreams, we're trying to get to Vee. He needs us for some reason."

"What does he need?"

"Some science shit, which makes total sense because he's a scientist. He's actually a scientist, and not just in my dreams."

"Axel... These dreams you've had... Do you think they have significance?" Zed asked carefully.

"Totally. They have to. Right? Or am I fucking crazy?"

"You're not crazy, Axel. I promise."

"But what if I am? This place... I get such a bad feeling when I'm awake in this room by myself. Vee won't tell me where we are. It's like he's hiding something, and he never lies to me about anything. We don't do that."

"Vee just wants you to get better. He's under a lot of stress, and your recovery is a big part of that. We didn't think—he didn't think you'd make it through. Another complication is the last thing you guys need."

Axel went quiet again and fixated on the dust motes and bolts of lightning crackling up his leg. A storm grew behind his eyes, the same torrents Zed saw when she tried to stop him from leaving Kinderfeld and her behind. Sickened by the thought of Axel sneaking off, she touched his arm and offered a warm smile.

"Talk to me, Axel. Please. Don't keep anything inside."

Axel glanced at her small hand on his tattooed bicep and the lightning in his body faded.

"We were friends in a past life," Axel claimed.

"We're friends in this life."

"Can I tell you one other thing, then I promise I'll stop talking about my bonkers dreams?"

"Yes. I don't mind at all."

Axel curled his bicep and touched Zed's fingers, feeling the motion out until she grasped his hand.

"I think I have to take you somewhere."

"Oh, yeah?" Zed giggled. "And where's that?"

Axel blushed for the first time and brought her hand to hold next to him on the bed. "Not like on a date or anything. I just get this feeling that I'm supposed to protect you, even though you seem capable of looking after yourself just fine. This dream voice keeps reminding me to stay with you and Vee... Like I'm not allowed to let either of you out of my sight. Especially not you."

"Then don't," Zed said.

He squeezed her fingers gently. "I won't."

~*~

Word of Axel's consciousness seeped out of the lab and into the village. Nobody knew who had made the discovery—Vee blamed Samson while Zed suspected Nalani, who'd waltzed by the lab doors at a suspiciously slow pace several times each day—and leaked the information. They barred visitors and only allowed the doctor in to help change Axel's bandages until Ivar arrived.

Axel was alone, humming a tune from his teenage years when the king came through the doors and stopped to stare at his bed-ridden friend.

"Zee, you're awake? And no one thought to tell me?"

"Sorry, hombre, but I think you have the wrong room. Name's Axel."

Ivar flashed all his sharp teeth in a sly smile and wagged his finger. "Always a joker."

"No, really," Axel chuckled, then went deadpan. "Wait... Who are you?"

Before Ivar spoke, Vee walked into the lab and froze when he saw Ivar standing a few feet from Axel's bed.

"Ivar. I wasn't expecting you."

The king sneered and motioned toward Axel. "What's with this guy?"

"Hey, maybe we can talk for a second?" Vee invited Ivar down the hall, out of earshot.

Ivar glared at the scientist. "When exactly were you planning on telling me he woke up?"

"That's the thing, Ivar. You don't understand... Axel's suffering from amnesia. It's common for coma patients to lose parts of their memory. Right now, he's in a very touchy state. He has no idea where he is, who you are, or what any of this is. I've tried to keep people away from him to avoid confusion, but now everybody knows. It's not good for him. Subjecting him to all this new information can cause anxiety, panic... Who knows. We're trying to ease him back into life."

"What do you mean he doesn't know who I am? I'm his best friend."

"Trust me. Axel doesn't even remember serving in the army."

"That's crazy. We should tell him—"

"No. It's too big of a shock. Axel's already gone through hell. Imagine trying to explain our world to somebody who has virtually no idea what's happened in the last couple of years."

Ivar pondered and didn't respond to Vee's relief, then sighed as though he accepted the explanation.

"So what does this mean for you? I assume you're retracting your claim and staying in Kinderfeld?"

Vee twisted his mouth to the side. "How can I go now?"

"You volunteered."

"That was before Axel came home. He needs me. I'm the only person he recognizes. Give me some more time with him, get him back on his feet and see if he'll start remembering, then I'll go."

Ivar crossed his arms across his burly chest. "Who knows how long that might take?"

"Would you leave someone you loved in that state?"

"I'd do what's for the greater good."

"He's your best friend. He's my brother. Axel needs us right now, Ivar. Think of all he's done for us. We owe it to take care of him until he's fit to at least walk again. I need him to remember what happened so I can get a better idea of what's going on outside."

"I suppose you're right," Ivar conceded. "You can't go out blind by yourself."

"Yes, you're right," Vee said with great relief.

"So what now? I can't talk to him?"

"You can speak to him if you like, but try not to bring up things that might confuse him. Don't talk about the army or mention recent times."

Ivar looked over his shoulder at the apartment's open door and heard the muted humming of a girl filtering through the corridor.

"And how's Lea taking all of this?"

Vee stiffened. "She's helping out."

"Axel has no idea who she is? He really doesn't know what's happened?"

"Not that I can tell. He keeps asking for cheeseburgers and to call our parents."

"Wow," Ivar whispered.

"Yeah, it's hard."

Ivar went quiet, distant, and shook his head slowly before inhaling through his nose and squeezing Vee's shoulder. "I trust you, brother. Maybe we'll talk more about your expedition in a few days when things have a chance to settle with Axel."

"You got it."

Axel pretended he wasn't trying to listen to the conversation between his brother and the brown-haired man with the striking blue eyes when the pair returned. Ivar nodded at Axel, his eyes awash with sympathy for the indisposed man.

"How are you feeling, Axel?"

"A little on the shitty side, my man. Not gonna lie. Hands busted, foot's bum... Can't fuck my way to a decent meal in this place, and everyone's tiptoeing around like I'm a sleeping baby. Gotta say I've had better days."

"Well, I hope you heal up quick. There are a lot of people who want to see you."

A coy smirk unfurled over Axel's face. "Yeah, I kinda get that impression. Sometimes, I see people looking in through those doors. I feel like a panda at a zoo. Everyone wants a peek at little ol’ Axel, huh?"

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"Cheeseburger?" Axel asked hopefully.

"Would if I could, friend."

"Goddamn it," Axel lamented.

Vee widened his eyes when Ivar looked at him, confirming what they'd discussed in the hallway.

"Say, how do you stay so beefy if there's no meat in this place?" Axel asked Ivar.

"I get my protein where I can. Try to stay fit. I'll get someone to bring you something good to eat."

Axel snorted. "Yeah, that's what that sweet-lookin' one said, but everything tastes like tree bark. No offence to her. She tried her best, and I'd never insult a lady's cooking to her face."

Ivar sucked in his bottom lip and nodded. "Well, I'll see what I can do for you, Axel. Get better soon."

Vee held his breath until Ivar left the lab and shrunk once the doors closed.

"You sure have a way with words, don't you?"

"Everyone who walks in here acts like they know me."

"We might have to move you to the apartment. Put a cap on your visitors."

"Who was that?" Axel asked.

"That's Ivar Lothbrok. He kinda runs things, in a sense."

"Nice guy."

Vee scoffed. "Yeah. Nice."

An itch stuck in the back of Axel's head, and he grew quiet once again, trying to unravel the mystery he'd woken up inside. He was a figure in a snow globe, a permanent fixture in a landscape rife with faces he'd seen in dreams. Sitting up in his bed, Axel wondered what laid beyond the confines of his glasshouse. Never one to follow the rules, even under the firm guidance of his smart younger brother, Axel decided once everyone fell asleep, he'd find himself a walking post and go exploring.

~*~

Zed woke to the sound of Vee's soft snoring coming through the open door of his bedroom. The possibility of sleep retracted with every second she spent staring at the smooth, globular ceiling in the dark, trying to make shapes out of the dream residue behind her eyelids. The sofa stiffened her back, and she twisted her spine until air bubbles popped and her muscles strained from the motion. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and squeezed her eyes shut for a few minutes, but Axel's stories followed her from sleep, brushing up on her with sharp quills. Since Axel painted his dream world, she hadn't stopped thinking of him and mourning the loss of his memory for the both of them. Axel didn't know his missing pieces were dancing under his eyes each time he slumbered, and she longed to stitch them together to create the full picture.

She squinted into the darkness, fatigue long since faded, and left the apartment. Light on her bare feet, Zed padded down the hallway and turned the corner to find an empty bed. Her heart twinged from Axel's absence. She considered going back to the apartment to tell Vee his brother was missing but found herself propelled to seek Axel out herself. There was nowhere in the lab a man of Axel's stature could hide, so she went out to the courtyard to begin her search. The floodlights cast pyramids of light over the foothills but revealed nothing but stone paths and glittering grass ranks. She started left first, then changed her mind and shot right toward the warehouse. Zed minded her steps as she picked up a jog, extending her legs to clear the roiling yards until she reached the square entrance of the warehouse. A guard leaned against the steel wall next to the exit, blinking and wiping a hand over his face to rouse himself. He saw Zed across the cement expanse and stood up straight.

"What're you doing out here?" The guard's voice clattered through the chamber.

"Sorry," Zed said, casting a thorough glance around before retreating into the light and shadow of the courtyard again. She rushed to the Hives, taking quick strides to reach her abandoned apartment before anyone else noticed her. After a quick knock, Zed opened the door to find her former living quarters as deserted as ever. Nobody had claimed the space in her absence, nor was Axel's adjoining apartment occupied. Both rooms were empty.

Zed's search for Axel continued and grew in urgency with each lonely cove and space she found. As she made her way around the central dome where the courtyard bordered the largest hill, she stopped at the mouth of the Chrysalis and addressed the men standing guard.

"Have either of you seen someone limping through here?"

"Nobody's come 'round here, Zed. Who're you looking for?"

Zed cocked her head. "Who do you think?"

"You mean Zee?" The man on the right asked. "Thought he was paralyzed."

"So it's true? He's awake?"

"Please don't tell anyone. Not yet."

The bearded guard rose a dark eyebrow at Zed. He was one of Ivar's highest-ranking patrol. Zed recognized him from the night they'd brought in the Zeronaut captain, Monk. He often stood by wherever Ivar went and didn't talk much unless addressed. "Ivar know about this?"

"I don't know what Ivar knows. Vee communicates with him, but we're trying to keep this from the general public."

"What do you think, Fen? Should we tell Ivar?" The scrawny, clean-shaven guard asked.

Fen sneered and told his partner to close his mouth before angling his torso toward Zed. "We'll keep an eye out, petite fleur."

Zed nodded and continued on her way, but there were few more spots Axel could hide unless someone had intercepted him and invited him into their hovel. She thought of Nalani, who often wandered the courtyard at odd hours and Trinity, who adored Axel and might jump at the opportunity to lead him to a private alcove. The two of them shared living space in Athena. Zed wanted to keep the search party light, and asking around would only spread curiosity like wildfire.

She continued touring the courtyard, her naked soles sore from hurried walking. Finally, she stopped at the greenhouse gate, its series of coiling iron bars and metal flowers welded to the columns in intricate clusters. Zed lifted the latch and pushed the gate open, taking care to shut it quietly. The greenhouse where the citizens grew aloe and berries was the little-known getaway spot Axel and Vee coveted as their private paradise. Zed zigzagged through the raised beds, taking care not to trip over the irrigation hoses and climbed the wooden steps at the back of the third square house. Around another corner and through the thick blackberry bushes nestled in rectangles of sodden earth, Zed rushed to the spot under the sky where the light poured in but found nothing.

"Shit," she whispered, out of breath and reeling in the thick, tepid air.

Zed looked up to the cloudless velveteen sky, crushing disappointment wringing her heart. In a throng of shadow off to the right, a figure shifted and startled the woman backward.

A tired voice called her name.

The shady form lengthened, struggling to stand. Once it stood at its full height, the vice pressing Zed's chest disappeared. Axel hobbled into view, using the overhead pipes to help himself along.

"Axel! There you are. Oh my God, you had me so worried. Why did you leave the lab?"

"The lab? Is that where you've been keeping me?"

Zed clapped her palm over her mouth. Axel gave an elongated nod, eyes wide and accusatory.

"Is that what I am? Some kind of experiment?"

"No, Axel—"

"What are you and Vee doing? Tell me why he's keeping me locked up. Tell me where the fuck I am, Lea. Please. This place... Something about it seems wrong. It scares me."

Axel wilted against a plant bed as Zed approached and caught his elbow to keep him upright.

"Axel, don't be scared. Please, I promise you're safe. We're not trying to keep you captive. This is all difficult to explain, and you were asleep for so long parts of your memory are missing. Vee's only trying to make it easier for you to cope."

"Cope with what, Lea? Cope with the fact I'm a prisoner? That I can't sleep because my nightmares are so vivid, I feel like I'm dying? That people watch me like some sideshow freak?"

"Everything," Zed sighed. "The new world. How can we explain all this to someone who woke up in the past?"

Axel looked up through the skylights and whimpered. "Something terrible has happened, hasn't it?"

Zed, wounded from the dejection in her friend's voice, led Axel to sit on the floor, then sat next to him and draped her arms over his shoulders, resting her cheek on the thin cotton shoulder strap of his tank top.

"I wish I could say you're wrong, but I can't lie to you, Axe."

"My instincts were right. Something is very wrong. After that Ivar fella came through, I started getting this feeling you all weren't telling me something on purpose."

"Don't be angry with us, Axel. We didn't know how to tell you."

Axel leaned his head on Zed's and sought her hand to hold. She slid her fingers through his and gripped tightly. "It's okay. I get it now. I'm supposed to be here. You and me... We're meant to be together. Otherwise... Why would I see you every time I close my eyes?"

"Axel," Zed whispered. "I missed you so much when you left. I thought I'd never see you again. Now everything is different."

"I'm sorry. If I hurt you back then... I didn't mean it."

"Just don't leave me again. Please. I can't fool myself into happiness without you in my life."

"I won't leave. I can't."

"Promise?"

"I promise, Lea."

"Promise-promise?"

Axel chuckled and kissed the top of Zed's head before laying his cheek on the ruts of her braids. "Yeah. I promise-promise."

~*~

Axel and Zed laid on the floorboards and watched the stars twinkling above while the chamber filled with water vapour, obscuring the glass until the condensation evaporated. When the infinite black sky lightened to meteorite violet, Axel used Zed as a crutch to stand up. He stole a fistful of blackberries, stuffing the fruits in his mouth and mashing them until inky juice seeped from the corners of his lips. He complained about his ankle, which he'd suffered walking on during his solo excursion to the greenhouses. Zed berated him for wandering off and helped him down the steps and through the rows of potato plants, arms locked, their pace slow to accommodate Axel's injury.

A murmur greeted the pair as they approached the iron gate. A dozen villagers gathered around the entrance to witness Axel emerge with smiles on their faces. Frozen from the elated faces beaming at him, Axel pulled on Zed's arm, alerting her to the hoard of onlookers.

"Who are they?" Axel asked.

"Zee! Happy you're awake!"

"What happened to your arm, Zee? Are you okay?"

"He looks terrible."

Zed opened the gate, and the crowd dented but didn't part. "Make room, please!"

"We want to talk to Zee!"

Axel then realized the group addressed him, their wide eyes drinking in his bruised and broken state with smiles unfitting his poor condition. An overwhelming sense of worry touched his skin, and he grabbed for Zed to lead him, but they huddled around the gate until a tall head of blond hair sliced the crowd in half. Vee shouldered past, his eyes hooded and brow furrowed.

"Axel! Lea! What the hell are you doing out here? Lea, did you let him out?"

Zed frowned and drew her shoulders up. "Of course not! I'm the one who came looking for him."

"Let's go. Come on, now. Everyone make way. Go back home!" Vee barked.

"We want answers! What's happening outside the walls?"

"We'll answer your questions later," Vee said disdainfully. "Lea, help me get him back."

The trio staggered to the lab, breathless from the trek over the bowing foothills. Vee waited until they were behind closed doors to deliver a speech about how irresponsible and defiant Axel was, how his behaviour might cause unwanted ripples where the scientist required placidity. Axel hoisted himself into bed and accepted his lecture, sullen and quiet, occasionally glancing at Zed, who also wrung her wrists.

"I told you not to leave the room, Axe. Why? Why can't you listen to me for once in your goddamn life?" Vee asked.

"You're not my mommy, Valter. I can do what I want, and frankly, I don't appreciate you keeping secrets from me!"

"What are you on about?"

"Oh, don't play dumb. You've lied to me this whole time! About where we are, what's happened to me. I think you know much more than you lead on."

Vee scoffed and looked to Zed for reassurance. The girl stood still with her shoulders hunched.

"Lea, help me out here."

"Well, Vee... Maybe it's time we tell him everything. There's no use hiding the truth anymore. He already knows something's wrong."

"Yeah!" Axel cried. "I'm done sitting around twiddling my thumbs. You have to tell me what's up. How did I get like this? What the fuck happened to me, and why can't I remember anything? I don't know how I got here or who all those people are out there."

"That's the thing, Axe... We don't know what happened to you. You left, and when you came back, you were unconscious and hurt. We don't leave this place, so I can't tell you anything more than that. I didn't know if you'd wake up and certainly didn't know you'd have amnesia when you did."

Axel turned to Zed for verification, and she nodded her head regretfully.

"It's true, Axel. I wish we could tell you more."

"Then at least tell me where I am. Start there," Axel demanded.

Vee and Zed stood speechless for a moment until she sighed deeply. "Vee, maybe we should give him the postcards and his journals."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're right, Lea. Go get the box. Tonight's gonna be a long one."

Zed hauled the box of postcards and dog-eared journals into the lab and hefted it onto the foot of Axel's bed. Vee unpinned the postcards from the corkboard and offered them to Axel with a pinched smile. Zed sat in her chair while Vee laid on the floor, a long arm slung over his eyes as Axel began to read aloud from his workbooks. The three of them listened to the stories Axel had penned years before while he was in the infantry as if none of them had heard the tales. From time to time, Axel stopped narrating and glided over the lines, taking in details he should have known, but couldn't place. During these silences, Zed and Vee would look up at him to assess his emotions, whether or not the words shifted the pieces into place or made any difference at all.

Axel took in a strained breath. "Ivar and I aren't talking. He wants to be the leader on this ship, and if things don't go his way, he turns into a giant douche-nozzle," he broke into giggling at his insult. "I haven't eaten in three days, and the water supply is low. We're down to a cup a day each. It's not enough, but it's gotten us through so far. One of the guys got sick, and they've taken him below deck. He throws up constantly even though there's nothing in his gut and howls all night in agony. I swear to God I'll shoot him in the head tomorrow if he doesn't let us sleep tonight. Someone needs to put him out of his misery."

Zed grimaced, and Vee stared at the ceiling with dry eyes, unflinching from the story.

"Day six... I now know what rat meat tastes like."

"Oh, god. Ew," Zed mumbled.

Axel continued without pause. "It's not that bad when you haven't eaten in almost a week. I've set up more traps in the galley to catch the rest. If Ivar plays his cards right, I might share my rats with him, but he's still a stuck-up twat.

I'm not sure how the rats are surviving. Maybe there's food still hidden somewhere on the ship. Maybe they're eating each other."

"This must have been when you were on your way back to America...Or... Whatever you want to call this half of the world now," Vee said.

"What do you mean?" Asked Axel.

"The Unity... The government... They abolished the borders, erased the country names and burned the history books. The states became part of the North-Western Hemisphere. Same with Canada and all that. No countries. No names."

Axel seemed to accept his brother's explanation that nothing would ever be as before. The commune in which he now resided was the only tangible place left in existence. Outside the walls lay sites changed from war, stripped of home and heritage. A tightness in Axel's neck prevented him from speaking until the revelations grew too heavy for him to bear.

"What happened to everyone else?" Axel asked.

"It's hard to say," Vee whispered, then cleared his throat. "A lot of people died."

"How many?"

"Billions," Zed said.

"You mean... We're the only ones left?"

"No, we're not. There are other survivors out there, people who were meant to live through the storms."

"Storms?"

Vee sighed, the farfetched nature of their fates exhausting him before he began. "The Unity developed a way to return the planet back to its natural state. No more electronic communication, no more broadcasts or satellites or TV. After the extinctions reached an all-time high, they introduced these plants that could suck the pollution from the air quickly. They grow extremely fast and are lethal to anyone who wasn't vaccinated against the spores. One plant can release a spore cloud big enough to cover half a football field, and they breed and multiply like vermin. Even a small cluster can kill a stadium of unimmunized people in a few minutes."

"But why would they do this? Have I been vaccinated?"

Axel's questions ripped holes in Vee’s composure. Zed's stomach churned and flipped as the scientist fished for the least aggressive explanation. A gloss came over his eyes, and he avoided his brother's bewildered stare.

"No, Axe. You're not."

"Oh... Are you?" Axel whispered.

"Yeah, I am. So is Lea."

"Why? Why didn't I get vaccinated?"

"You were lost at sea with your platoon for weeks, and before that, you were overseas. They didn't immunize the troops."

"Are you telling me the government wants us all to die?"

"Most of this is widely debated. There are some theories that the Unity had a strategy in mind."

Zed lent the scientist a hand and cut the heavy topic with a smile. "Axel, you're much more special than you know. Those people out there all adore you because of what you've done for Kinderfeld. You were the only one brave enough to go out when they needed supplies. People know your name not only here but out in the world. I've seen you fight and shoot. You're a natural."

"Well, yeah. I've been shooting guns since I was a kid."

"You were a special ops sniper. More than just a good shot."

Axel warmed to the compliment. "And what about you? Are you the mercenary of my dreams?"

Zed blushed and failed to hide her pride. "Not a mercenary... But I've murked a few Scavs in my day."

"Man... I like you," Axel tittered. "Ain't she great, Vee? What a prize."

For the few seconds of silence that passed, Vee's expression darkened. He recognized the reverence pulling Axel's features, the heartfelt way Lea relaxed when they spoke. Even in the absence of memory, Axel and Zed forged a bond too strong to pry apart. He would never wish ill upon his brother, but he mourned the days past with the woman whose eyes shone like vats of golden syrup passing under the morning light. At the risk of sharing a likeness with Ivar, the king who could never quite capture the woman's love, Vee thought of what life might have been like had Axel never returned. Would Zed love him? Could she? Had he ever toed the waters of her unspoken affection? Vee cursed his stupidity the night he told her how he felt and quickly dismantled his chances before she had the opportunity to consider him more than a close friend.

As Zed stared at Axel upright in his bed with his journals splayed out around him, Vee knew it was too late to rescind his platonic claim. A victim of his own sabotage, the scientist turned from them and pushed out every last ounce of breath to make room for another stale intake.

"I think it's time I showed Axel the Crimson Yawn."

Zed nodded and left the brothers, sensing a gloomy air rising between them. Vee was much better at explaining the inexplicable. He delivered news with a needed bluntness, one Zed had never mastered. Once she left the lab searching for distractions, Vee helped his brother box up the journals and offered his elbow to guide Axel back on his feet. Amid the bleak news, Axel had almost forgotten the pain in his extremities.

They waddled to the locked chambers where the bulk of Vee's scientific discoveries came to light. Axel squinted against the bright white walls and polished floor as he followed his brother through a series of doors leading to a clear dome similar to the greenhouses he'd found, only this hollow contained a twisted swarm of redheaded plants, mouths bloody and agape. Each one stood over seven feet tall and lifted its black-spotted maw to the sky in a silent scream. Axel turned from them.

"I've seen these before, but never this many. In my dreams, there's always one growing in a container."

"You recognize them?"

"And you say these things can kill me? How is it possible?" Axel asked.

"They're a sophisticated hybrid plant. They release spores like mushrooms, and those spores become airborne. If you breathe them in, they attack your blood, soaking up the nutrients and essentially turning it into a highly acidic jelly. You burn from the inside out. Well...Dissolve is a better word."

"And you've brought me here why!?" Axel shouted, dodging backward and planting too much weight on his bad ankle.

"Don't worry! They can't hurt you from in here. The filtration system's design protects everything inside."

"I still have a hard time believing all this. You know how crazy it sounds, right?"

Vee clapped his brother on the shoulder. "Oh, I realize. Why do you think it took me so long to break the news? You try finding a delicate way to explain this to someone who just came out of a coma."

Axel became transfixed on the plants again after Vee's assurance. He shuffled to the glass and studied the roaring heads, each one slightly different than its neighbour. They resembled demons, bizarre red monsters with thick necks and broad leaves of wax. Their spiked roots toiled in the ground, gnarled and tangled in a hellish orgy above and beneath the soil. Beyond the ranks, Axel saw the roiling jungle and all its hues of green and black. The sun broke through parts in the towering trees. How he longed to feel the wind on his burnt skin and walk among the flora. Axel observed the plants for a few minutes as Vee stepped back and allowed him time to digest.

"Am I in a nightmare?" Axel met his brother's eyes and did not blink.

"Some might say that. And I'm sorry. I've dedicated my life to making things better for the survivors, but there's nothing left I can do. All we have now is the village and each other."

"And mom and dad?"

"They're gone, Axe. They've been gone a while."

The tattooed man swallowed bitterly and nodded as a wall of tears blinded him. Vee touched his brother's shoulder and shared his pain through the comforting gesture. Axel crossed his chest with his good hand and patted Vee's fingers.

"Do you mind if I spend some time alone? This is... It's just a lot."

"Of course. Take all the time you need, Axe. I'll leave the doors unlocked. You good to walk?"

Axel's voice floated below a whisper. "I’ll manage."

~*~

In the apartment, Zed held her arms out before her and swung them in half-circles, stretching her muscles in preparation for another stiff night spent on the sofa. Vee came in after dinner and found Zed flinging her limbs outward.

"Nightly aerobics?" He asked with a touch of humour, the most he could muster after a day of harsh truths.

"Just stretching out before bed. My back's been killing me."

"Oh," Vee's green eyes popped open wide. "Don't sleep on the couch, Lea. You can take the bed tonight."

"Nah, it's okay."

"No, really. I insist. You deserve a night without hanging off the edge of the cushions."

"Then where will you sleep?" She asked.

"The couch."

Zed laughed at the idea. "You're far too tall to fit comfortably."

"I've passed out there dozens of times. Don't worry about me, really. Take the bed."

"Why're you being so nice, huh?" Zed snorted.

"I've seen you in pain the last few days, and I feel bad. It's rude of me to have one of the biggest beds in this place when I don't do anything to deserve it."

"Oh, shush," Zed jested. "You've done more for this place than anyone."

"There's always the Chrysalis."

The good humour in the room vanished with Vee's maladroit suggestion. Zed shook her head and scoffed. "I'm not going to the Chrysalis. I want to stay here with you guys."

"Fine by me. You'll take the bed tonight then. Grab your blankets and go."

Zed and Vee swapped bedding and wished each other goodnight. Though she deemed herself undeserving of the luxury, when Zed crawled onto Vee's large bed and spread her limbs from corner to corner, her skin bristled with goosebumps. The scent of the sheets belonged to the man outside the room, sprawled on the sofa, long legs dangling over the arm—cotton and boyish musk, the redolence Zed had grown accustomed to except in this moment. Lying on the mattress reminded her of the hugs and closeness she'd received from Vee when Axel had fled.

She relived their days together in clips of happy memories and some not so joyful. Across the apartment, Vee recalled the same night playing in Zed's mind—their evening in the greenhouse when they'd held hands, so close together yet barred by the promises of friendship. Vee cursed himself repeatedly while Zed entertained the idea of getting together with the scientist.

Soon, Zed's thoughts slid over the night she'd spent with Ivar. If she concentrated, she could feel the fullness between her legs still. Ivar had made love to her the way couples did in films. He'd stroked her and kissed her skin, took her nipples gently between his lips and sucked until she giggled. What might have excited some left her shivering. Was one of the brothers more deserving of her love? Was she foolish to think herself so desirable her attention was a coveted badge of excellence?

What a prize!

Lea... I want you to tell me no, right now.

It's like you were made for me.

With her heart racing, Zed turned over in bed and clamped her eyes shut. Debating which of the three men in her life she wanted more made her stomach flip, yet she couldn't keep the lewd considerations from pouring into her head. In these fantasies, she replaced Ivar with Vee. Yes, he was smart and gentle and keen on her, but he'd told her not to let him cross the line, claimed he didn't want her that way despite his feelings. Vee's kind face took the place of Ivar's, coasting down her stomach, stamping her thighs with kisses from luscious lips. She squeezed her legs together and let the inevitable shift knock Vee from the picture to make room for his older brother.

The tattooed man with all his addictions and his looming depression positioned himself between her knees and grasped her ankles delicately. A murderer and womanizer leaned over her body, caging her with long limbs decorated with sparrows, weapons, chains and barbed wire.

We're meant to be together. I see you in my dreams every time I fall asleep.

Zed bit her lip when the phantom sensation invaded her. She knew not how Axel would moan or if he'd coo and sigh the way Ivar had when they had sex. She wanted very much to think Axel would treat her with respect and scorned the claims Trinity had made about his wild side. Then the obscene journal entries came to life, glowing, fanned by salacious visions. What if she didn't want to make love? What if she wanted to be taken hard and fast by a man who worshiped her? Guilt and arousal mixed in her chest and sat heavy, grinning evilly like a demon poised to possess her body.

Sleep wriggled through Zed's conjurations and pulled her under before she realized she was slipping into blackness. The cozy bed and Vee's sheets lulled her, and soon, she dreamed of ordinary things, forgetting her personal stash of pornographic thoughts. She slipped further as the moon made a lazy arc through the night sky until something touched her shoulder and jarred her from sleep with a sharp gasp.

Her scream ripped through the apartment, sending her waker toppling out of bed.

"Lea? Oh, fuck. Fuck!"

"Axel?"

In the dimness, neither of them saw each other but tasted each other's heavy breath. Soon the light snapped on, and Vee stood at the door, chest heaving.

"What the hell is going on?" Vee asked. "Axel? What're you doing?"

"Christ, I thought Zed was you. I just came to... Well, I couldn't sleep," Axel cringed. "Shit, my hand. Fuck, I landed like a sack of bricks."

Vee snickered, setting off a series of giggles. "You came to sleep in my bed?"

"I didn't mean to scare you, Lea."

"It's all right," said Zed. "Really. On any other night, it would have been Vee in here."

Axel pulled himself up by the elbows and sat on the edge of the bed, grimacing from the agony of his agitated wounds. "Sorry, guys. It's hard to sleep out there. People are watching me."

Zed scooted over and patted the part of the mattress warm from her body. "Come on. Lie down. I think we could all use a sleepover after the day we've had."

"You're not serious," Vee said with a scoff as his brother took up Zed's offer and laid down next to her.

Zed nodded with conviction. "Absolutely. You too, Valter. Turn off the light and get over here."

He rolled his eyes as he flipped the light switch. "This is hardly a three-person bed."

"Well, cuddle up, pal."

"Lea takes up a fraction of the bed, anyway," Axel pointed out.

"Is this not weird to you? Three adults sharing a bed?"

Zed moved to the center as Vee climbed into bed from the left. To her right, Axel had already sprawled and turned over to face her in the dark.

"It's no stranger than how half the people in this place sleep all piled on top of each other. Humans were meant to nest. In the wild, this is how we'd sleep."

"Yeah, but we're not in the wild," said Vee.

"Yes, we are, little brother. Have you seen it outside? We're literally in glass bubbles, in the middle of a rainforest. Now shut up, and go to sleep."

"You shut up."

"Guys?" Zed chimed.

"Yeah?" The brothers answered.

"I love you both.”

Robbed of their voices, Axel and Vee set aside their bickering to bask in the genial haze of Zed's words. Axel shifted an inch closer while Vee laid stiffly on his side, eyes wide in the dark. As though her claim was bathed in wine, they soaked in the meaning and slipped drunkenly into slumber.

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[lnarizakis]

thanks for the food! | m. osamu

masterlist | cards against humanity x haikyuu!!

pairing: miya osamu x gen!reader

foreword: this took so long for me to get out omg but i hope you enjoy!! 💕

look out for: manga spoilers

“sorry for staring, mister. it’s just that i ain’t ever seen ___ before.” + “soup that is too hot.”

“You know, you should really eat something other than cold take out and cup ramen.”

(Y/N)’s roommate Chiba Sumiko sighed, resting a hand on her forehead. She watched (Y/N) sitting at their small kitchen table, currently chowing down on a half-empty box of take out from last night’s dinner. Disappointment washed over her as they let crumbs fall from the corners of their mouth.

“But you know I’m broke—“ (Y/N), with food still lodged in their cheeks, started. As the words left their mouth, they knew what Sumiko—who had a part-time job—would counter.

“Let me treat you. No, I will treat you,” Sumiko decided, sitting down next to (Y/N). The scenario was similar to a father sitting his son down for “The Talk.” Though, in this case, it was Sumiko lecturing (Y/N) that as a college student they should take better care of their health. This included eating a proper meal; eating only take out and cup ramen was definitely not beneficial to her health. As someone studying health and nutrition, they should know better.

And so Sumiko and her boyfriend planned a date, with (Y/N) unfortunately tagging along as a third-wheel. They decided on Onigiri Miya, a tiny restaurant near their campus. It was a quaint little restaurant, and the owner had just recently released their new line of ramen soups. It had been very well-received by the general public, at least the ones who had come in to try it out. Based on those reviews and the fact that they had never eaten there before (Sumiko claimed they had to “expand their horizons,” whatever that meant), the three decided that that was the perfect place to have lunch tomorrow (specifically, at 3).

—

The next day, (Y/N) arrived at the restaurant a little bit later than the couple, not wanting to be the first person to arrive. As they entered the restaurant, the aroma of ramen broth, vegetables, and rice flowed into their nose; the overall atmosphere just felt warm. It was a homely environment, one that (Y/N) would want to visit time and time again. Small talk filled the air, and the one person behind the counter, currently brewing new broth for any incoming customers, casually talked with the patrons that sat around the table. (Y/N) could hear the faint sound of the television sitting in the corner of the restaurant, playing a rerun of a two-year-old volleyball game.

“Ah, welcome in,” the restaurant owner called out to the three, a faint smile on his face. He was, for lack of a better word, extremely hot. (Y/N) could feel a slight blush painting their cheeks, and that most likely wasn’t because of the warm air of the hot food that filled the room.

(Y/N) sat down at the counter along with Sumiko, who had suggested they do so, and her boyfriend. From behind the counter, the man rolled up his sleeves and crossed his arms, handing (Y/N) three plastic menus, which they were to pass along sideways.

Promptly, he said, “Just let me know when you guys are ready to order.” The man pushed a small bell towards them, wordlessly telling them to signal him when they were ready. He turned back to the broth on the stove, also tending to the noodles in a pot beside the broth. He sighed contently— this was the life. He could have never pictured himself playing volleyball beside his brother, who was currently on the television screen, silencing the jeering crowd.

(Y/N)’s eyes scrolled through the menu. What were they to order? There was an array of onigiri to choose from; after all, she was in an onigiri restaurant. However, their eyes drew themselves towards the listing of newly released ramen labels. Why not stick to something they were used to eating?

“(Y/N)-chan, what are you going to have? I’m gonna get the spicy salmon onigiri. The ‘lil picture they have for it on the menu makes it look so good,” Sumiko said. Her words caught the attention of the restaurant owner, stirring the broth absentmindedly, letting out a chuckle. Being the kind partner he was, Sumiko’s boyfriend was content with having her leftovers.

“I think I’ll have the tonkotsu ramen,” (Y/N) stated, still scanning through the menu, making sure there wasn’t something that caught their eye even more than the ramen did. Luckily, there wasn’t, however, so they folded the menu back up and placed it atop the other two menus that Sumiko and her boyfriend had finished using.

Sumiko lightly tapped the bell, and the man behind the counter promptly turned around to collect the menus and finalize what they were going to have.

“I’ll have the spicy salmon onigiri and,” Sumiko pointed to (Y/N), “they’ll have the tonkotsu ramen.” The man nodded.

“Ah, yes. Those are good choices. I know so because I‘m gonna cook ‘em,” the man flatly said, earning a laugh out of the three customers. He set the menus away and began to work on their orders.

—

“Your salmon onigiri,” he said, after some fifteen minutes later. Four onigiri stood proudly on the plate he was holding side-by-side, just waiting to be eaten. The rice was still steaming. He presented the plate to Sumiko and her boyfriend, with an astonished gasp at its delicious appearance. Onigiri Miya was renowned for their aesthetically pleasing food designs.

“Your tonkotsu ramen.” The man then presented the bowl of ramen towards (Y/N), pushing it towards them. The hot steam of it rose up into their face, warming it up. (Y/N) breathed in the aroma of the soup, taking in everything all at once; looking down at it, the soup itself was presented oh-so perfectly, from the cut hard-boiled egg to the seaweed stacked atop each other along the side of the bowl, slowly mixing in with the broth. (Y/N) was practically mesmerized— they hadn’t seen anything like it since... they don’t remember when.

After some time, the man asked with concern, “You good there? You’re starin’ off into the abyss of the bowl.”

“S-Sorry for staring, mister. It’s just that I ain’t ever seen soup that is too hot before,” (Y/N) stuttered. Well, of course they had seen soup that is hot before. They mentally face-palmed themself. To their surprise, however, he laughed. Resting his (notably muscular) arms on the counter some distance away from where (Y/N) had set their phone down to eat, he had his full attention on (Y/N), smiling at them.

“That’s not what I meant. Y’see, I’ve been a little... not eatin’ properly. Simply put,” (Y/N) corrected themself. Taking the chopsticks into their hand, they began eating, looking down in embarrassment.

“Nah, I get it. My brother’s like that. Or, well, he was, in high school,” the man said. “His name’s Atsumu,” he continued, as he pointed to the screen, which currently displayed Atsumu setting for his teammate. The two of them watched the screen until the play ended. Atsumu’s team won the rally, earning them their point. His twin brother in front of (Y/N) pumped his fist, quietly cheering for Atsumu, even though he knew the outcome of the match. It was a two-year-old game, after all.

“I’m Osamu.” Gray eyes glanced over in (Y/N)’s direction, who was taken aback by the sudden introduction.

“Ah, uh, I’m (L/N) (Y/N),” they said, with a half-full mouth of food. Setting down their chopsticks, they wiped their mouth with a napkin. The ramen was so good, so warm, and just so affectionately cooked that (Y/N) gave up all their cares to messily eat the food in front of them.

“I can see you’re enjoyin’ it, (L/N)-han. I’m glad it’s that good.” Osamu watched (Y/N) enjoy the bowl in front of them. Their hunger was akin to his brother’s hunger to improve in volleyball. He felt a pang of familiarity in his chest.

“I love it, Miya-han. What do ya think, Sumiko-chan? How’s it for you?” (Y/N) turned their head towards the girl, taking her time with every bite of her onigiri. Her boyfriend held his own in his hands, ravishing down on it. His cheeks were red due to the warmth of the food. Sumiko turned towards (Y/N), smiling. She gave a thumbs up, a sign of her satisfaction. (Y/N) returned their own small smile.

“Looks like we’re all happy, Miya-han. Thanks for the food.” (Y/N) continued to eat, and Osamu departed from the counter.

—

“That was really good!” Sumiko exclaimed, walking out of the tiny restaurant. “We should go there again someday!” The two others beside her agreed.

(Y/N) shoved their hands into the pockets of their jacket. It was quite cold—colder than usual, at least—for a January afternoon. Though, the pockets of their jacket seemed to be emptier than normal. But (Y/N) paid no attention to that.

“Anyways, (Y/N), don’t you think that store owner was cute? I sure think he was. But you’re cuter, Ichiro, don’t worry.” Sumiko turned towards her boyfriend, giving her a small smile in return. Aw. Their relationship was so cute. (Y/N) wished they had a relationship at least a fraction as affectionate as theirs.

“Yeah, he was pretty cute, I guess,” (Y/N) started, drawing out their words. Though, they didn’t really know how to put it all together; there was just something about him that made them long for his affection (they didn’t know it at the time, but it was definitely his cooking). They hummed, trying to piece together what they were trying to say.

(Y/N)’s roommate looked on in curiosity. “Is there somethin’ wrong? Can ya feel your heartstrings tugging? Is this the sign of true love?” Ever the romantic she was. She’d been rooting for (Y/N) to find their one-and-only since the beginning of their first year of graduate school. Ever the supportive friend she was, as well.

“Agh, I’m just— I just can’t believe how much I stuttered around him... and ate so messily in front of him, too, and—“ (Y/N) sighed. Sumiko clasped a hand on their shoulder.

“It’s alright, (Y/N); you hit it off greatly with him! Didn’t you see it? He definitely did. I mean— the longing look in his eyes while he was talking to you was phenomenal! Ichiro, why don’t you look at me the way—“ Sumiko’s scold was cut short by a familiar voice calling out from behind them. It was Osamu. He held (Y/N)’s phone in his hands, as he made his way towards them. Ah, so that was why their pocket felt slightly emptier than usual.

“(L/N)-san. You, uh... you forgot this,” Osamu said, looking down at the phone. (Y/N) held out their hand, as he gave them back their phone using both of his hands.

“Oh, thank you, Miya-han,” (Y/N) replied with a little more fluster than they had before.

As they put their phone back in their pocket, Osamu whispered something under his breath, just barely audible. (Y/N) asked him to repeat what he had just said.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he started, “but I added my number to your phone.” (Y/N) smiled, their cheeks reddening—totally because of the cold January weather (yep, totally).

“No, I don’t mind at all. Let’s talk more often, and maybe you can cook something else for me as well.”

—

cheese + general taglist (you can ask to be removed 🌝): @akaashichigo @drainedjaz @haikkeiji @annalyn-annalyn @mlkytobio @sosugasweet @cali-writes-sometimes @simping4ratsumu @shishinoya @ushiwakaa @from-left-to-write @akaashit-baeji @kxgeyamasmilk @agaassi @hanibuni @cupofkenma @kawanisshi @milkandc00kiez @thiccbokuto @shinsukestan @sufiawrites @wakaitoshi @skyguy-peach @fern-writes-ig @briswriting @airybby @kawaiikraykray @bubbleteaa @miyuswriting @raevaioli @ouikarwa @hakueishirei @pineapplekween @estherwritess @keiji-n @achoohq @bbytenma

[lilmissbeanie]

Navigation Haikyuu Masterlist

Tetsuro Kuroo x F!Reader. Fluffy Word Count ~ 4.3k Happy very late birthday to a dear friend of mine, I hope you had a great day girl! 

KozumeKenma is going live! 

The girl grinned at the notification that flashed up at the top of the screen of her phone. Her favourite streamer who she had been watching since he started streaming, she had just randomly found him playing some Minecraft years ago and decided to watch, she had been a loyal follower since that day, his streams always made her laugh and she loved how relaxed he was, she would often pop up in the chat, commenting on the game. Kenma had recognised her as one of his top fans, she had VIP status on his streams and he always said hi to her. Y/n had noticed that he was looking a little more run down recently, so she would often pop up telling him to hydrate or go get some food. She often used buying a treat for Kenma through streamer treats and he would often scold her for another pizza or ice cream Sundae, but Y/n knew he didn't mean it especially when it was her favorite pizza, she had been sending water with them too as the boy seemed to live on soft drinks. 

Opening her laptop she turned it waiting for it to load up, it usually took a little while now, she needed to get a new one, this one had to be about seven years old now so it was starting to get a little slow now but it still did the job for now anyway. While she waited, her fingers tapped against keyboard on her slightly cracked screen of her phone, 

Snowy Bluewolf: Happy wednesday! How are you?   

She heard Kenma chuckle, of course she was the first to message the chat. “Hey there, as always you are straight in the chat Wolfie.” Kenma gave a smile seeing her username, Snowy Bluewolf. “I’m good thank you, how is your lock down wednesday going?” 

Snowy Bluewolf:: Ah you know the usual, I got out of bed, moved to the couch to play on the ps4 and haven’t moved since unless to get food or another drink.   

“Ah, what have you been playing today?”   

Snowy Bluewolf: Just some bloodborne, still terrible at the game 

He chuckled, “It is a hard game wolfie, the offer still stands, anytime.”  She smiled, she had told him she had started playing bloodborne over the lockdown and that she was finding the game incredibly difficult and he had offered to help her out if need be. 

Snowy Bluewolf:: I heard orphan is a bitch to beat so I will give that one a few tries and then I may take you up on the offer! Thanks, Kenma!   

“Okay, the rest of you, stop being jealous, you all know Wolfie has been here since day one and she is super loyal follower so of course I’m going to talk to her!” Kenma rolled his eyes playfully at the jealous messages in chat, Kenma looked dead in the camera with a playful look in his golden eyes as he teased the rest of his followers “She is also one of my mods so watch it.”   

The girl laughed, she had never abused her power as a mod in his discord or in the twitch chat she only kicked those who didn’t obey the rules. She also was friends with Kenma. On discord they were quite good online friends now and they do play games together in private and they do have quite a laugh together.   

“Right let’s get on with the stream!” Kenma said getting straight into the game.   

Y/n had gotten her laptop all set up and ready now, she lounged out on the sofa, getting comfy for the Animal Crossing New Horizons stream.  She would lurk in the chat making sure that everyone was behaving, she rarely had to time out anyone, but she liked to keep an eye making sure everyone is behaving, over the eight years she has been a part of Kenma’s streams and been a mod she had only have to ban about a couple hundred people though she had timed out a lot more than that, she reckons she has hit over the thousands or more.   

She smiled as she watched Kenma update his island, trying to make it five stars, he had built his orchard, a zen garden and a flower garden, it was looking quite stunning so far. Had been streaming about an hour and half when she noticed he had yet to have a drink.   

Snowy Bluewolf: Oi, Kenma! Hydrate would you, have some H2O smh 

“Ergh, Wolfie you are starting to sound like my friend Kuroo.” He sighed, grabbing his water bottle, and having a drink. “Always telling me to drink something...” He tightens the cap on the bottle.   

Nekomasbestcaptain: I heard my name? What shit are you saying about me now? 

Y/n giggled at the fact his best friend had been lurking in Kenma’s stream this whole time, Y/n knew of Kuroo his best friend but had never spoken to him even as a mod all these years. “Nothing Kuroo, just saying Wolfie is as bad as you, reminding me to hydrate.”   

Nekomasbestcaptain: Wolfie? Oh, you mentioned her before. One of your mods, right? 

Kenma glanced at the chat quickly, before replying, “Yep.”   

Snowy Bluewolf: @Nekomasbestcaptain hi! I am the one making sure he stay’s hydrated and that he eats 

Nekomasbestcaptain: @Snowybluewolf haha thanks he does forget like all the time.   

For the rest of the stream Kuroo and Y/n chatted and flirted back and forth, Kenma rolling his eyes at his two best friends. 

To: Kenma  From: Kuroo  Sent: 04:14pm  Dude, how can I talk to wolfie other than through your streams? 

To: Kuroo  From: Kenma  Sent: 08:17pm  Discord.   

Kuroo had never downloaded an app so quick in his life, he created his account, got Kenma’s discord tag added to him then begged him to allow him to join his discord server before tracking down Y/n and private messaging her.   

The months of lockdown flew past, Y/n and Kuroo bonding over the course of three months, they had gotten to the point they would video call in bed usually with Y/n falling asleep while they chatted which he found super cute. 

Nekomasbestcaptain: Hey, Y/n seeing as lockdown is finally over, did you, maybe fancy going for dinner?   

Kuroo sat at his desk in his home office as he chewed on his lip as watched her name pop up at the bottom of the chat bar in discord, before disappearing and reappearing again.   

Snowy Bluewolf: Sure (*ﾉ▽ﾉ) I would love too. Rather than going out for now, maybe we could have a stay at home dinner, like we each cook a course and share one? 

The grin was spread across both their lips as they stared at their phones, the crushes they had developed over the past few months had come clear and they had slyly admitted it to one another and Kenma hated how they were with each other yet loved it cause they both deserved to be happy. Kuroo’s eyes sparkled as he read the message. 

Nekomasbestcaptain: Sure, who’s place shall we do it at? I don’t mind travelling to yours.   

Snowy Bluewolf: We can do it at my place and I’ll pop out and buy the food for the mains if you don’t me doing that course.   

Nekomasbestcaptain: Sounds like a plan. I'll make the starter and we could have a cheese board for dessert? 

Snowy Bluewolf: You are talking my language rooster boi! So, friday? 

Nekomasbestcaptain: Friday is perfect, 6?   

Snowybluewolf: 6 is perfect, I’ll send you my address on friday 

Y/n couldn’t help but squeal she had a date with this beautiful man, it may be a home date, but she had a date. Kuroo flopped back in his desk chair, he had done it he had finally asked her out.   

Friday rolled around in a flash both arguing over who was buying the cheese, in the end Y/n won to buy the cheese and crackers but Kuroo said he would be buying the wine. Y/n decided to make a sushi from scratch, Y/n wasn’t going to admit it, but she did want to show off a little. She had all the equipment she needs to make sushi at home she had just never used the sushi kit she had brought. 

Kuroo had spent days trying to work out what he would make for the starter, he finally decided on tempura. He wanted to make a mix of vegetables and fish. He knocked on her door, with a few bags in hand.   

The door opened shortly after, he was met by a h/c haired girl, her e/c eyes peering up at him, with a shy smile on her face, “Hey rooster boy.”   

“Hello Chibi-chan,” Since he discovered she was the same height as Kenma he had begun to call her Chibi-chan, he loved how a light blush covered her cheek bones. He smiled at her leaning down pecking her forehead, not chancing more yet seeing as this was the first date. Biting her lip, she stepped back gesturing for him enter, trying not let the blush erupt over her cheeks from the feeling of his lips against her forehead. It was a small innocent gesture that caused goosebumps erupted over her skin as she knew the small peck had a deeper meaning behind it. The pair had become comepletely and utterly smitten with one another.   

Showing him into the open plan kitchen sitting room “Can I get you anything to drink?” She asked leaning on the counter, “I brought some wine with me” Kuroo grinned pulling a bottle of wine out of one of the bags. Y/n smiled in return, opening the cupboard by the fridge pulling out to large crystal-clear wine glasses, while opened the bottle with the corkscrew. “What have you planned for starters?”   

Tetsu gray orbs met hers as he poured them a glass each, “I was thinking of making Tempura. What are you doing for mains?”   

The girl took a sip of the wine and sighed, her eyes widening at the smooth taste coating her tongue and the velvety texture running down her throat, “Well I was goinf to make sushi but I’m thinking screw the starter and mains and let’s just have a cheese and wine night, Tetsu this wine is delicious what is it?”   

“Cabinet Sauvignon by a California vineyard called dark horse,” Kuroo swirled the wine in his glass before smirking “and I won’t say no to a cheese night.”   

Y/n emptied out the carrier bags taking everything that needed to go in the fridge and placing it there, before giving him a playful look with raised eyebrows at the 3 other bottles of wine she removed from the bags. “Tetsurou are you planning to get me drunk this evening?”   

“What?” Elongating the word, “No! Whatever gave you that idea?!” He gasped, placing a hand over his chest struggling to keep the fake offended look on his face, before they both cracked up laughing, the pair relaxing in each other presence for the first time that evening. 

“So, cheese and wine night?” The nod of Kuroo’s head joined with the twinkle in his eye was all Y/n need to grab one of her wooden chopping boards, the crackers from the cupboard before she pulled the fridge door open and snatching the selection of cheese, she had brought earlier that day from the fromagerie, the strong-smelling shop contained a wide variety delicious French cheese. 

Y/n wasn’t sure what kind of cheese Kuroo would like she got some milder ones as well as some strong ones, the milder ones being those like brie, camembert and cantal, a cheddar like cheese, the stronger ones like Roquefort and stilton. She had gotten quite a mix of hard and soft cheese too. Taking all the cheese out of their respective wrappings before placing them on the wooden board.   

Kuroo watched each of her movements carefully from his seat at the breakfast bar, she did everything so gracefully and he was awestruck by how beautiful she was, he already thought she was when they video chatted but seeing her in person was a whole other ball game. He watched as she stood on her tiptoes, reaching into the cupboard to get down two small side plates, her flowing red blouse riding up slight allowing him to catch a glimpse of her smooth looking s/c skin of her waist. The way she bent over as she rummaged through the fridge looking for something, gave him perfect view of her arse in her skin-tight dark blue Levi's over the rim of his wine glass as he took another sip. He glanced away as she straightened up, turning around with some chutneys in hand, making it seem like he was admiring the apartment rather than the owner of it.

“Did up want to sit here or move to the sofa?” She asked gesturing towards the dark blue loveseat with a pair of matching armchairs that was placed opposite a flat screen TV on that was mounted to the wall with a light oak sideboard under it, he could see through the glass of the doors that it contained a PlayStation four, Nintendo switch and a range of games and DVDs, separating the two was a coffee table that matched the sideboard, light oak with a glass top. “Sure, the sofa sounds good.”   

Kuroo grabbed the two glasses wine and made his way after y/n to the sofa as she made her way over to the coffee table with the wooden board with the cheese on before they both when to grab the condiments and utensils.   

“Hey, google, shuffle wake up and smell the coffee.” Y/n called out to her google home which sat on the side board under the TV. 

“Okay, I’ll shuffle the Spotify playlist wake up and smell the coffee.”   

The gentle strumming of the guitar of Comethru by Jeremy Zucker played threw the Google home. The pair got comfy on the loveseat, letting the music flow through the apartment, they both snacked on the cheese and biscuits chatting and talking about their days at work. “It’s nice to not having to go into the office that often yet I do procrastinate while I’m at home.”   

“Oh god I am just the same and Kenma is not helping when he streams when I am trying to work.” The girl laughed as she sipped at her wine enjoying the smooth texture.

“I have Kenma’s streams playing as background noise these days myself.” Kuroo added with his own deep chuckle as he watched the girl drink her wine and the way the tip of her tongue darted out over red full lips, temptated to kiss them to discover how soft they are , “This one is nice.” Kuroo said grabbing another cracker with some brie with the fig chutney, Y/n hummed agreeingly in response as she had her own mouthful of blue cheese and cracker, taking a sip of her wine before responding, “The fig chutney does go well with brie, try the blue cheese with a sip of wine.”   

He did as she suggested and his eyes widened at the mixture of mouth-watering tastes, “damn that’s good.” He grabbed another chunk of the blue cheese, placing it on his plate and grabbed another cracker. The cheese board didn’t last long between them even with the six different cheeses they keep eating until there wasn’t even a crumb left. 

“Whoa, I’m stuffed.” Kuroo sighed as he flopped back on the cushions of the sofa, they had finished a bottle of wine and began the next. Copying his movement, Y/n made herself comfy on sofa, the music still softly playing in the background, 1994 by Alec Benjamine harmony filled the room. “God, I love cheese nights.”   

“I have decided, this,” He gestured to the empty plates, board and the bottles wine “Shall become our first tradition. We will have regular cheese nights.” Kuroo said, nodding in agreement with his own decision with a proud smile. A gentle smile crossed her rosy lips again, the look in her jewel-like eyes holding a matching look, nodding in agreement with his idea. Their first tradition, Y/n was filled with giddiness and tried not to squeal at the fact he wanted to start making traditions with her, “I’d like that.” 

His grey eyes watching as she curled her legs up under herself, her left elbow resting on the back of the couch, her chin resting on her on the palm of that hand and in her right hand held the wine glass which rested on her knee. The small ball jumping up on the sofa between them broke him out of his trance of checking her out. His eyes landed on the black kitten whose large blue eyes were briming with curiosity. “Oh, there you are Luddy.” Sitting up slightly, the h/c leaned forward enough to gently pet the kitten, the second Y/n fingers met the top of his head, Luddy began to purr, his blue eyes closing in contentment.   

“Did you have a nice sleep baby?” Y/n cooed to the bundle of fur starching behind his ear making him lean into his touch, Kuroo was in awe as he watched her coo over the small creature. “Do you want some dreamies?” The kittens eyes seem to fly open at the word dreamies as if he understood what his own had said, he looked at her and gave her a small meow. Y/n giggled placing her glass down on the coaster before standing up. 

“Okay you make friends with Tetsu while I grab the dreamies.” Starching the back of Luddy’s head, Y/n gathered up the plates and knifes an placed them on the wooden board along with the chutneys and taking them to the kitchen, leaving Kuroo and a kitten staring at one another, molten grey eyes staring into inquisitive sapphire blue ones. In the background you could hear dishwasher being loaded and the opening and closing of cupboards as Kuroo gently reached a handout allowing the small cat to sniff his calloused fingers, from all those years playing volleyball, before Luddy rubbing up against the man's large hands purring, he stood up walking over to Kuroo sitting down on his lap, allowing Kuroo to continue to pet him, purring happily at the affection. Y/n watched the interaction from the kitchen smiling, before shaking the bag of dreamies, causing Luddy’s ears to prick up and turn to look where the sound came from, he jumped over the back of the sofa trotting his way towards the sound of the treats. Kuroo watched as Y/n opened a ball with a few holes in it, pouring the treats in, shutting it and placing it on the floor for Luddy who ran up to it and batted the ball across the room causing the treats to fall out of the holes. Y/n walked back over to the sofa, grabbed her glass of wine off the table, taking a seat next to Kuroo, whose arm was resting across the back of the sofa, where she was sat it looked like it was placed around her shoulders. Trying his luck, he placed it around her shoulder and tugged her into his side, “Come ‘ere.” To which she responded to his tug by curling into his side, head resting on his chest while he drew gentle circles on her shoulder happily relaxing into the sofa with her curled up to him.   

It was peaceful as the pair led there on the sofa curled into one another, the only sound in the room was Luddy’s ball rolling around and the music still quietly playing, “This is nice Tetsu,” Humming in agreement, he kissed the top of her head allowing his lips to linger inhaling in her soft scented shampoo. He could get used to this, ruining the perfect scene was a loud ringtone going off.

"Is Kenma really streaming at this time?” The girl sighed untangling herself from Kuroo to get her phone from the kitchen counter where she had left at the start of the evening. “Ya know, he only lives around the corner,” Y/n turned to look at Kuroo confusingly as her eyes met with his that held a mischievous glint, “and I have a key.” 

Y/n confusion turned into a smirk as she caught onto what Tetsuro was planning, her eyes brighten up and nodded in excitement, this would be the first time she was meeting her favourite streamer and she would gate crashing his apartment with his best friend. “Can we stop and buy food and drinks for him? I bet he hasn’t eaten.”   

Kuroo couldn’t help but be just as enthusiastic as her, seeing her excited was contagious and made him just as excited. “Of course, we can” He smiled pulling on his shoes and jacket as Y/n did the same. “Luddy be good while we’re gone. Mummy loves you baby.” She blew a kiss towards the kitten who was sat on the sofa looking at the pair with a bored look in his eyes as they stepped out of Y/n apartment door. They made their way to local convenience store fingers entwined together as they searched for Kenma’s favourite soft drink and a few bottles of water before going to the pizza takeaway and order the largest pizza they could with Kenma’s favourite toppings. Y/n couldn’t believe how close they lived together, Kenma live barely 2 streets over, they had the same local takeaways and supermarkets she was surprised they had never bumped into one another before.   

Kuroo entered the code to Kenma’s apartment building, saying hi to the kind looking receptionist who knew him very well with how often he visits his best friend, Y/n sent a wave to the lady behind the desk who returned it with a smile. “Back to see Kenma I see Kuroo, and who is this?” 

“Hi, yep!” He popped the p “This is Y/n she is my girlfriend and actually I met her through Kenma streams she’s one of his mods and he decided to stream during out first date so we thought we would come and crash his stream” The lady giggled and nodded, noticing the blush that exploded over h/c girls cheeks as she heard Kuroo tell the receptionist that she was his girlfriend. “Pleasure to meet you Y/n have fun crashing his stream.”   

“pleasure to meet you too. And thank you we shall.” The girl replied with a smile as Kuroo tugged on their entwined hands towards the elevator, he hit the button for the eighth floor and watching the doors close as the pair made their way up to his floor, Kuroo fished his set of keys out of his pocket, “So we’re going to sneak in and sneak to his stream room and throw the door open and yell at him to hydrate right?” 

“That’s the plan.” The girl nodded bouncing on the balls of her feet. She was so excited to do this. The bell ding in the elevator signalling they had arrived at the eighth floor, stepping out the made in along to apartment 803, Y/n took the carrier bag from Kuroo’s hand as he slipped the key into the lock carefully turning it to unlock the door quietly, they slipped inside stylish modern apartment, they both took there shoes and jackets off, placing the bottles of water and one of his soft drink bottles on the counter, before sneaking there way towards Kenma’s stream room.   

Showing three fingers Y/n began the silent countdown, She knew the whole stream would see this as Kenma had recently moved his stream room around so his back was now facing the door.  

3...  

2...  

1...  

Kuroo threw the door open “YO KENMA! HYDRATE!” The pair yelled at the same time, they watched as the streamer jumped five foot in air out of fright and the stream chat was moving at a mile a second asking what was going on. Kenma pulled his cat ear headphones off his head placing them down on his desk slowly turning around in his desk chair to find Kuroo leaning against the door frame one arm around his date and in his other hand was his Kenma’s drink while Y/n was snuggled into his side with the pizza box in hand. Both of their face held large cheeky grins.

“Kuroo? Wolfie?” He questioned, Kuroo was the first to speak between the couple, “This what you get for crashing our date with your stream”   

“Oh, so now I have to plan my streams around your dates?” Kenma sassed them. The h/c cocked an eyebrow before replying, “Yep, you do.”  

Kenma laughed at her response, watching as the pair stepped into the room, Y/n thrust the pizza box into his hands “bet you haven’t eaten yet tonight so here it’s your favourite.” Before she pushed his chair with him in it out of the way and crouching down to be eye level with the webcam seeing herself in the video, of the stream managers on Kenma’s second monitor, “Hey chat! It’s me, Wolfie! You best be all behaving while I am not there to mod you” She winked into the camera, noticing Kuroo making his way over to her kneeling down behind her, he was still taller than her, he placed his chin on his head, reading what the chat was saying.   

It was exploding with laughter over how they made an entrance, to how pretty Wolfie is and how handsome Kuroo was. “He is handsome isn’t he but hands off he’s mine.” Y/n replied sticking her tongue out at the chat.  

“This gorgeous girl is mine so back off lads I can see yall eyeing her up.” Kuroo growled out playfully.

Kenma just sat in his chair chopping happily on his pizza while shaking his head at his two best friends who had just stolen all the limelight of his stream, which had gone from a Bloodborne stream to just chatting in a matter of seconds, with a gentle smile on his face glad they were happy together.

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©️ All content  belongs to lilmissbeanie, do not copy, edit, repost or translate. 

[transpaperinik]

Donald has never really liked watermelon. Maybe it’s the texture, or the fact that to him it literally only tastes like water. Every time, his sister would gasp, offended, “how could you not like watermelon?” she’d say, between bites of the stuff, “it’s the perfect summer fruit!” and Donald would always shrug her off, and say it just meant there was more for her.

It’s maybe two weeks into Donald’s castaway vacation (about 2 days spent in and out of consciousness after the crash, another 2 days trying to patch himself back up, around 10 days searching for any form of food or water) that Donald finally finds something edible. He stumbles toward it in the brush, almost falling onto it when he trips on a cluster of vines. A watermelon.

He laughs, because finally, there’s something he could eat and it’s the one fruit he doesn’t like. He pulls it out of the leaves and finds there’s...two smaller melons attached to the top of it. A Triplemelon he thinks thickly in the back of his mind. He lifts it up and another laugh rips its way out of his throat. If you hold it the right way, it looks like… It looks like.. He laughs so much he almost drops it. In the very back of his mind he remembers...something. He remembers that this melon resembles...what was it? It was something… He was sure.. Somewhere else in his head though, cutting painfully through his hysterics, he remembers that he’s hungry. He had already got used to the sharp pangs in his stomach, but the swimming of his vision and the lead in his limbs still remind him. You’re so hungry, Donald. You’re so so hungry.

So once he’s able to suck a rattling breath back into his lungs, and the pressure on his ribs eases up, he carries it back to his little “camp”. A collection of long flat leaves he tried to tie to a tree like a hammock, which now lie on the rocky ground because it kept ripping in the middle of the night. A long extinguished fire he hasn’t managed to relight since his fourth day here. A ton of makeshift water containers, just in case those storm clouds he always sees on the horizon decide to come and gift him some fresh water… And gold. Chunks of warped, torn, half-melted gold, shining harshly in the sunset. Alien gold which cut through the vegetation and scarred the earth when they fell down to it.

He sets the melon down and ambles over to a small, but particularly sharp piece of shrapnel. He tugs it roughly out of the ground, only shaving off a few of his hand feathers, only cleaving the skin underneath a little. He tosses the piece aside as his palm becomes slick, and he quickly forgets about his perfect summer fruit as he tears another ribbon from his uniform to bandage himself with. Eventually, the unwanted sluggishness of his limbs, and the darkness creeping into his vision prompt Donald to finally collapse into his ground-hammock, squinting at the stars which start to twinkle through the shroud of night, before he finally falls asleep. 

The next morning has him sitting up violently, something akin to a shout tearing itself from his throat before the dream is chased from his mind. He remains there for a moment, the trembling not yet gone from his limbs and the sweat not yet dry on his forehead. He’s only removed from his stupor when a jolt in his stomach rudely reminds him You’re hungry. He drags himself to his feet, pressing his eyes closed for a moment as his vision dances before his eyes. 

He shuffles over to the discarded piece of shrapnel and he picks it up again, remembering to be more careful this time. With the most focus he’s had in days, he carefully cuts into the watermelon… Removing a slice and putting it up to his beak… He cringes a little, not liking it any more now that it’s also warm, but he eats it anyway. He’s about to dig in completely when he looks at the melon again. He managed to cut what looked like a mouth hole on it. A big, wide, watermelon smile that reminds him of the person he doesn’t remember the melon resembled. He’s already shaking with laughter before a sound comes out of his mouth. He doubles over on himself, grabbing helplessly at his ribs as he laughs so much tears would have leaked from his eyes if he had any tears left to shed.

Somewhere during this fit of feverish hysteria, he dragged himself over to his fire pit and lovingly gave the melon charcoal eyes. He holds it in trembling hands and he laughs and somewhere in his head, it laughs with him. In the days that follow (he no longer remembers how many) it becomes his friend. He gives it a voice, something cheery from the side of his mouth, he hardly realizes he’s doing it. It promises that of course they got your message, of course they’re looking for you, they’re your family! How could they not notice your disappearance? And he always believes it.

In the increasingly rarer moments his mind becomes clear, he almost screams himself raw. There’s no way they’ll find me, there’s no way I’m going to live long enough. And guilt tears at his insides (or maybe it’s hunger?) every time he considers eating his...his friend.

It’s maybe a month when Donald realizes maybe he didn’t eat the melon because…because he doesn’t like watermelon. It’s not because he’s so lonely he’d rather have company than sustenance. It’s not because he has a horrible feeling in his gut that he’ll never see his family again, that he’ll never see his sister. (And it’s definitely not because he really doesn’t want to be on this island anymore. And if he… if he gets hungry enough he won’t be here anymore).

Now all Donald can do in the recent days is lay in the cool underbrush, staring blearily at the sky, as the world continues without him. He drags himself to the sea, and he pretends that drinking ocean water and shoving sand down his throat is a good idea, because his family will come for him. Because that’s all he has left to cling to. The only reason he clings to his life.

He’s not really sure how long has passed (or how he’s still alive) when there’s an awful crash, the sound of crunching and tearing metal almost throwing him into a panic as his mind reminds him of the last time he heard the sound. With an energy he’s almost certain he doesn’t have he runs to the opposite side of the island and stares at the Sunchaser as his family clambers out of it. He holds the melon tightly in his hands (when did he take that with him?) and he slowly reveals himself from the bushes. 

He realizes with a delay that he speaks to them through the melon. That he refers to himself in the third person… But he doesn’t stop. Now his voice is understandable, now his family could finally hear what he was saying... (It doesn’t occur to him that Della could always understand him, and his nephews always tried to.) He still treats the melon like his friend, despite the looks he gets from them. 

He pretends he doesn’t hear when Dewey reveals they didn’t actually know he was missing. That they didn’t look for him. He pretends the only reason he didn’t actually let himself slip away wasn’t a lie spoken to him by a sailor hat wearing watermelon. He doesn’t let himself think about how just this once, he’s technically so lucky. To be alive, to be found by his family when they weren’t meaning to find him. 

When Della kicks his melon into the sea, and then Gladstone shows up and eats it in front of him, Donald feels like he’s just been doused in frigid water. Of course having a talking melon as a friend is crazy and stupid. Donald doesn’t even like watermelon. When Gladstone drags him into his blimp to get a haircut and an outfit change, Donald wants to laugh about it, but he can’t.

After the Moonvasion has ended, after he successfully did nothing to help, Donald still wants so badly to laugh about it, but he can’t. His ribs still get tight and he still can’t breathe, tears fall from his eyes this time as he’s finally becoming hydrated again, but it isn't because he’s laughing. He doubles over, backed into a corner somewhere, his vision is blurry and he grabs uselessly at his ribs as he begs for his lungs to fill again. Eventually though, his fit ends, and the pain under his sternum eases, he draws a long shuddering breath, but he still can’t seem to laugh about it.

It takes such a long time until he can laugh about anything, actually. When his family cracks jokes, he does feel amusement, he does think they’re funny, but the joy dies in his throat. He stays silent. He talks less, because he’s afraid he won’t be able to bite his tongue before he speaks out of the side of his mouth. He eases himself into this new life with the moonlanders, he convinces himself he isn’t afraid of them. He convinces himself he's not afraid of anything. Not the scent of the sea and the feeling of sand beneath his feet (or the feeling and taste of them between his teeth). Not the bright, shiny gold he sees so often in the mansion, especially not the gold crumpled and shredded remains of crashed alien rockets. 

And most of all, he’s not afraid of watermelons. He just doesn’t like them. He’s never really liked watermelon.

[osmw1]

Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 12

‘That might be likely…’

Veno pings and highlights outside, then mutters.

‘You were experimenting with your new skill, did you not?’

Ah, right. How I slew that rat.

‘You had released all that poison on the monster trail. It is possible that something or someone walked into it and succumbed to it.’

That’s ridiculous… How do people even earn experience points in this world?

‘With some exceptions, the quintessence of the defeated cannot be earned if one is too far away…’

As our discussion goes on, the rowdiness outside dies down. I stand stealthily by the window side and peer out. On display outside of the inn was the corpse of the Rose Grey Swordhorn I saw before I went to bed. It’s become a spectacle and there are quite some people surrounding it. Some adventurers are tipping and throwing money in. Moreover, there seems to be merchants discussing some kind of trade.

“It seemed like it’s been weakened, so we decided to capture it alive. We’ve done alright, hey?” “Thank you so much for tonight!” “Casualties were minimal too.” “We’d be rich if this happened all the time!”

The adventurer who captured the Rose Grey Swordhorn brought it to the merchant who seems to be the requester. No way, don’t tell me…

‘… that is what it seems like. It would be a safe to believe that the Rose Grey Swordhorn was weakened by the poison you threw down.’

It’d make sense that I leveled up so much. But even then, is the concentrated swamp toxin really that powerful?

‘Do not make light of poison. Furthermore, Rose Grey Swordhorns are not monsters from the swamp and they have not resistance against it. The poison must have circulated in its system, weakening it, and then the adventurers captured it.’

I don’t know whether to consider myself lucky or not. Well, seeing how I doused the monster’s path with poison, it’s quite likely that it was afflicted by an abnormal status. How does everything seem to work out for me? That, in turn, makes me even more anxious.

‘Consider it an unexpected godsend. By the way, shall we snatch the corpse of the Rose Grey Swordhorn before they cut it up?’

Give me a break. They’re obviously going to go crazy looking for whoever stole it!

‘Aye… In my prime, I would not bat an eye, but it is dangerous to do so now. Not only are we in hiding, it is also not something with which we should get involved. Forgive my mistake.’

Why did you even suggest doing it?

‘Aye. It seemed like as if they were to dress the monster and sell the meat. Since it was poisoned by you, I was merely wondering if it would be fit for weaker humans to feed upon.’

Gah! Wouldn’t that be disastrous? It’d be no joke if I were to wipe out the entire village in a night.

‘Hence that is why I suggested to snatch the corpse… Oh, the village apothecary noticed the meat has been tainted and is preparing some sort of agent to neutralize it.  That girl is coming over here.’

Arleaf is? Maybe I should play it cool and go say hi to her. What should I do? … I’d look pretty suspicious if I did that. Like, she found me unfazed by both the poisonous swamp and the miasma. If I appeared in front of a powerful monster that had been poisoned, it’d stand out way too much. It would probably be better if I said I was fast asleep and didn’t know a thing about it. Just to be safe.

‘After all, we are being hunted. That girl had been so kind to us. We should not get her involved in this and bring her any more trouble. You should understand better than anyone.’

I can’t say I really feel the same too, but I know you’re right. Well, we gotta do every little bit to raise our chances of survival… That’s how we get to live another day. With that, I stole some of the adventurers’ experience points and went back to sleep.

The next morning, after a good amount of sleep, I wake up feeling ready to take on the world. … I’d like to believe that it isn’t because I soaked in so much poison yesterday. I set off from the inn for breakfast… is it going to be tough steak and vegetable scraps soup again? I don’t know if I even have a choice. Can’t my meals rank up just a little bit?

“You gon’ be stayin’ here today too?” “Uhh, yes, tonight too, please.” “You got it.”

I hand over the money to stay another night. It really helps me that it’s cheap, but how much longer will I have the money to stay here?

“Oh, there’s a cold spreadin’ around these parts lately, so you best take care of yourself, Cohgray.” “Understood, ma’am.”

A cold, eh? … don’t wanna catch one of those. I’ll be extra careful.

‘I could make you a vaccine. Though I am interested in whether you will catch a cold or not.’

How dare you treat me like a guinea pig?! Ah, whatever… the plan today is to advance my class at the dungeon. When I was a student, I gamed quite a bit. I had even played quite a few tabletop RPGs and MMOs. So, to find out that I can actually change and advance jobs, it really widens my horizons.

‘Aye… it is like recreation of your parallel world. Tabletop… hmm. After this ordeal is over, it might not be so bad to try my hand at it too.’

Veno mutters to himself after peering into my memories. I’d love for him to stop spying on my memories so much.

‘I am just bored.’

Yeah, sure.

‘Speaking of which, I have almost finished processing the pelt of the Midnight Blue Wolf that you had defeated yesterday. I have yet to properly tan it, but after that, you should have a product to sell. It might also be a good idea to fashion it into a bag for you to use.’

He’s sure accomplished lots in the meantime. You’re bored even after such a challenging activity?

‘It is hard living as a dragon without knowing a few ways to kill time.’

He said that with what seems to be smugness. That’s fine. However… Veno, you ate all of the meat from the Midnight Blue Wolf, right? You didn’t gnaw on the leather too because of your oral fixation, did you?

‘Would you not stop treating me with such disdain!’

Seems like I hit the bull’s-eye on that one. Is the Midnight Blue Wolf pelt really alright being soaked in your spit?

‘You… perchance, you know not of the procedures of processing pelt? No, judging by your knowledge, it seems like you believe that pelt is instantly transformed into fur or leather just by stripping it off the flesh.’

Huh, you mean it isn’t? Well, all the experience I’ve had of processing pelt is anything that was in a game, so there would be quite a high chance that I’m wrong.

‘Is it not obvious that you are incorrect? First, strip the skin off the flesh and thoroughly clean it. Since poison has a sterilization effect, I mixed some water from the swamp with marphina and applied it to the skin. I then consume the meat left on the skin and dry the skin out.’

I can only imagine Veno sucking the moisture out from the skin with his mouth.

‘Then, after moderately drying it out, I apply a mixture of swamp toxin and rock salt to the skin. It is imperative to take some time so that the ingredients get familiar with the pelt. Currently, I am at this stage.’

I feel as if he’s a pro at this complicated process, but even then, it seems like it is a lot of work to make some fur or hide. Even though it’s completely automated for me, it’s quite the bother for Veno.

‘If we supply ourselves with some tools or drugs, I shall be able to create an even finer final product. It would not hurt to keep it in mind.’

Even if you put it that way… But anyway, if you use all that poison to treat the skin, won’t there be any ill effects on the person equipping it?

‘It shall be fine as long as we store some well water with storage magic so that we can clean the skin.’

Is that true? Veno’s lecture of hide tanning distracted us from our original train of thought. After all that, we arrive at the town hall to find adventurers sporadically gathering here. As I thought, the request postings refresh everyday in the morning.

Now then, is there nothing that I can do to earn some money while avoiding the lot from the who are chasing us? It would make sense to look at requests I can fulfill while I’m on my way to or at the swamp. Does Arleaf take requests from here too? While that thought is in my head, I looked for Arleaf… but she is nowhere to be seen. Well, that’s okay… I’m sure I’ll get to see her somewhere or other.

I accept a request for poisonous herbs. Not medicinal herbs, mind you, but poisonous ones. That’s kinda sad somehow. Since in a game, they’d start you off with a gathering quest for the safer herbs. Nevertheless, if I know what I’m looking for, I’m sure I’ll complete it in no time. That, and they specified an amount this time…

‘I am still able to hold a lot more with my storage magic. We should gather all that we can, so it would be easier for us in the future.’

Well, as long as we can use them all before they go bad, it wouldn’t hurt to do so. Our objective for the day is to advance my class… I’m at the stage where I should learn more about my surroundings and some common knowledge of this world. Since I have a clear picture of my goal, I walked towards the swamp of poison, just as I did yesterday.

It was easier getting here today than yesterday. Not only do I already have three times the experience I had, just as importantly, I’ve also familiarized myself with the way there. I encountered the same vines, mosquitos, and beetles, but they are no match for me anymore. My sword feels lighter and the enemies seem weaker. Maybe it’s because I’ve simply levelled up. That’s what they call experience, huh?

I quickly arrived at the swamp of poison, and Midnight Blue Wolves… are not around? If there were, though, I could always show them how I fight—escaping to the swamp. And moreover, I’ll blast them with poison stronger than what I could make last time.

It’s just that, well… thanks to my Poison Absorption, the swamp is as comfortable as flowing hot springs. I’ll just pop in for a quick bath before I go home today too. I’m self-aware that I’m really testing my luck with this parallel world, but it’s not like I’m doing anything immoral.

‘Indeed… you can replenish your reserves of swamp toxin as well. You are not doing anything unscrupulous.’

While picking anything that might be useful, I make my way to the dungeon, the one that I went to with Arleaf yesterday. I find the dank, musty room I was looking for. I check out the dilapidated stone altar in here. Hmm? There’s some kind of symbol or statue made of stone that’s been smashed. Is it just me or does it kinda look like a dragon?

‘Either way it may be, I am not sure.’

I thought it’d be a statue of Mother Mary or something like that.

‘There are those who place religious symbols like that as well. Such is the difference between different sects of the church.’

Incidentally, which denomination do the guys who are chasing you belong to?

‘They are of the Teachings of the Sacred Yggdrasil… it is a faith that originates from a tree that a gang of elves worshipped. It was a joint task force between that and the Church of Saint Oevarl. That country has two concurrent religions in play.’

The Teachings of the Sacred Yggdrasil, huh? Hmm… there too are world trees in the world? How fantastical.

‘Heh… there is naught left but pitiable remains of what the elves have exploited.’

Is it just my imagination or does it seem like Veno is ridiculing them?

‘It might seem that way because I am. Elves are the picture of haughtiness. They hogged the blessings of the forest while they ostracized the other races.’

From what I’ve read in the classics, that’s certainly how they’re portrayed as. Moreover, it’s the translation of “elves” that Veno is talking about, so they’re not even the elves of fiction from Earth. So that’s how the elves of this world are.

‘Aye. While they sing their songs with the forest, they monopolized the blessings of the world tree. As they anticipated the end of the world tree, they shifted the responsibility to the future generation and wrested power from the sapling. In the end, the world tree withered, and they lost their home. For that, they blamed other races and instigated wars. That is how things ended up how they are currently. They truly are a foolish people.’

What the hell? A religion like that survives ‘til today?

‘A small fraction of them took tender care of the sapling that narrowly survived. The remnants of that tribe live amongst humans. They grandly spread their religion so that they may survive another day.’

Ah, so the righteous bunch healed the tree, and this is where we are now. I’d glad that there are people who aren’t complete garbage in this universe.

‘… it would have been fine to just wipe out this world.’

Since they’re the guys who are after us, Veno doesn’t hold back. But because they’re also coming after my head as if it’s fair, they can’t be a good bunch either. I’m sure there’s all kinds of people though.

‘It matters not whichever it may be. What matters now is having them let us use their religious symbol.’

Well, you’ve got a point. It’s not like I care much about their personal history.

previously: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /next/ (full list of translated chapters) (discussion thread) (support Average Translations)

[angelavengedinspo-blog]

“Is there a fire?” Simon asked. “There better be a fire. Or a demon attack. And I’m not talking about some puny lower-level demon, mind you. You want to wake me up in the middle of a dream about rock superstardom, it better be a Greater Demon.”

“It’s Isabelle,” George said. Simon leaped out of bed—or gallantly tried to, at least. He got a bit tangled in his sheets, so it was more like he tumbled-twisted-thudded out of bed, but eventually he made it to his feet, ready to charge into action. “What happened to Isabelle?” “Why would anything have happened to Isabelle?” “You said—” Simon rubbed his eyes, sighing. “Let’s start over again. You’re waking me up because . . . ?” “We’re meeting Isabelle. Having an adventure. Ring a bell?” “Oh.” Simon had done his best to forget about this. He climbed back into bed. “You can tell me about it in the morning.” “You’re not coming?” George asked, as if Simon had said he was going to spend the rest of the night doing extra calisthenics with Delaney Scarsbury, just for fun. “You guessed it.” Simon tugged the blanket over his head and pretended to be asleep.

-------------------

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong is it’s nearly five a.m. and Julie and the others are still off somewhere with your stupid girlfriend and what do you think is going to happen if they don’t come back before the morning lecture starts and who knows what could have happened to them out there?” “Beatriz, breathe,” Simon said. “Anyway, she’s not my girlfriend.” “Is that all you have to say for yourself?” She was nearly vibrating with fury. “She talked them into sneaking out—for all I know, they drank their weight of Lake Lyn and they’ve all gone mad. They could be dead for all we know. Don’t you care?” “Of course I care,” Simon said, noting that he was alone in the room. George also had not returned. His brain, muddled with sleep, was functioning below optimal speeds. “Next year I’m bringing a coffeemaker,” he mumbled. “Simon!” She clapped her hands sharply, inches from face. “Focus!” “Don’t you think you’re being a little alarmist about this?” Simon asked, though Beatriz was one of the most levelheaded girls he’d ever met. If she was alarmed, there was probably a good reason—but he couldn’t see what it might be. “They’re with Isabelle. Isabelle Lightwood—she’s not going to let anything bad happen.” “Oh, they’re with Isabelle.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “I feel oh so relieved.” “Come on, Beatriz. You don’t know her.” “I know what I see,” Beatriz said. “And what’s that?” “An entitled rich girl who doesn’t have to follow the rules, and doesn’t have to worry about consequences. What does she care if Julie and Jon get kicked out of here?” “What do I care if Julie and Jon get kicked out?” Simon muttered, too loudly. “You care about George,” Beatriz pointed out. “And Marisol and Sunil. They’re all out there somewhere, and they trust Isabelle as much as you seem to. But I’m telling you, Simon, it doesn’t seem right to me. What she said about the Academy wanting us to screw up and get into trouble. More like she wants us to get in trouble. Or she wants something. I don’t know what it is. But I don’t like it.” Something about what she said rang true more than he would have liked—but Simon wouldn’t let himself go there. It felt disloyal, and he’d been disloyal enough. This week was his chance to prove himself to Isabelle, show her that they belonged in each other’s lives. He wasn’t going to screw that up by doubting her, even if she wasn’t here to see it. “I trust Isabelle,” Simon told Beatriz. “Everyone will be fine, and I’m sure they’ll be back before anyone knows they were gone. You should stop worrying about it.” “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to do?” “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know. Something!” “Well, I am doing something,” Simon said. “I’m going to go back to bed. I’m going to dream of coffee and a shiny new Fender Stratocaster and if George still isn’t back by morning, I’m going to tell Dean Penhallow that he’s sick, so he won’t get in trouble. And then I’ll start worrying.” Beatriz snorted. “Thanks for nothing.” “You’re welcome!” Simon called. But he waited until the door had slammed shut behind her to do it. 

---------------

Isabelle was avoiding him. Beatriz was fuming at him. Everyone else was buzzing with too much excitement about the previous night’s adventure and the secret one to come. Julie and Marisol only echoed George’s cryptic promise—that something good was on the horizon, and if Simon wanted to know about it, he would have to join them. “I don’t think Isabelle would want me there,” he told Sunil as they picked warily through the steamed heap of vaguely vegetable-shaped objects that passed for lunch. Sunil shook his head and grinned. The smile fit his face poorly; Sunil with a grin was like a Klingon in a tutu. He was an unusually somber boy who seemed to consider good cheer as a sign of unseriousness, and treated people accordingly. “She told us to convince you to show up. She said ‘whatever it takes.’ So, you tell me, Simon.” The unsettling smile grew. “What’s it going to take?” “You don’t even know her,” Simon pointed out. “Why are you suddenly so willing to do whatever she tells you to do?” “We are talking about the same girl here, yes? Isabelle Lightwood?” “Yes.” Sunil shook his head in wonder. “And you even have to ask?” So that was the new order: the cult of Isabelle Lightwood. Simon had to admit, he could completely understand how a roomful of otherwise rational people could fall completely under her spell and give themselves to her entirely. But why would she want them to? He decided he was going to have to see this for himself. Simply to understand what was going on and make sure it was all on the up-and-up. Not at all because he desperately wanted to be near her. Or impress her. Or please her. Come to think of it, maybe Simon understood the cult of Isabelle better than he wanted to admit. Maybe he’d been its charter member. 

---------

Isabelle rolled her eyes. “No one wants to see you freak out, Simon. Frankly, I could take or leave seeing you at all.” “So this is serious,” Simon said. “You’re seriously, not at all jokingly, actually, for real planning to summon a demon? Here, in the middle of the Shadowhunter Academy? In the middle of the end-of-year party? Because you think it will be . . . fun?” “We’re obviously not going to summon it in the middle of the party,” Isabelle said. “That would be rather foolish.” “Oh, of course,” Simon drawled. “That would be foolish.” “We’re going to summon it here in the lounge,” Isabelle clarified. “Then bring it to the party.” “Then kill it, of course,” Julie put in. “Of course,” Simon echoed. He wondered if maybe he was having a stroke. “You’re making it sound like a bigger deal than it is,” George said. “Yeah, it’s just an imp demon,” Sunil said. “No biggie.” “Uh-huh.” Simon groaned. “Totally. No biggie.” “Imagine the look on everyone’s faces when they see what we can do!” Marisol was nearly glowing at the thought of it. Beatriz wasn’t there. If she had been, maybe she could have talked some reason into them. Or helped Simon tie them up and stuff them in the closet until the end of the semester had safely passed and Isabelle was back in New York where she belonged. “What if something goes wrong?” Simon pointed out. “You’ve never faced off against a demon in combat conditions, not without the teachers watching your back. You don’t know—” “Neither do you,” Isabelle snapped. “At least, you don’t remember, isn’t that right?” Simon said nothing.

“Whereas I took down my first imp when I was six years old,” Isabelle said. “Like I told your friends, it’s no big deal. And they trust me.”

I trust you—that’s what he was meant to say. He knew she was waiting for it. They all were. He couldn’t. “I can’t talk you out of this?” he asked instead. Isabelle shrugged. “You can keep trying, but you’d be wasting all our time.” “Then I’ll have to find another way to stop you,” Simon said. “You gonna tell on us?” Jon sneered. “You gonna go be a crybaby and tattle to your favorite warlock?” He snorted. “Once a teacher’s pet, always a teacher’s pet.” “Shut up, Jon.” Isabelle whacked him softly on the arm. Simon probably should have been pleased, but whacking still required touching, and he preferred that Isabelle and Jon never come into physical contact of any sort. “You could try to tell on us, Simon. But I’ll deny it. And then who will they believe—someone like me, or someone like you? Some mundane.” She said “mundane” exactly like Jon always did. Like it was a synonym for “nothing.” “This isn’t you, Isabelle. This isn’t what you’re like.” He wasn’t sure whether he was trying to convince her or himself. “You don’t know what I’m like, remember?” “I know enough.” “Then you know that you should trust me. But if you don’t, go ahead. Tell,” she said. “Then everyone will know what you’re like. What kind of friend you are.” He tried. He knew it was the right thing to do. At least, he thought it was the right thing to do. The next morning, before the lecture, he went to Catarina Loss’s office—Jon was right, she was his favorite warlock and his favorite faculty member, and the only one he would trust with something like this.

---------------

Hadn’t Isabelle proven herself enough—not just to him, but to the Clave, to everyone? She had, after all, pretty much saved the world. How much more evidence would anyone need that she was one of the good guys? How much evidence did he need?

------------

Isabelle brushed past Simon on his way out of the lecture. “Nine p.m., Jon’s room,” she whispered in his ear. “What?” It was like she was informing him of the exact time and place of his death—which, if he was forced to imagine what she might be doing in Jon Cartwright’s dorm room, would be imminent. “Demon o’clock. You know, in case you’re still determined to ruin our fun.” She gave him a wicked grin. “Or join it.” There was an implied dare on her face, a certainty that he wouldn’t have the nerve to do either. Simon was reminded that though he might have forgotten ever knowing Isabelle, she’d forgotten nothing about him. In fact, it could be argued that she knew him better than he knew himself. Not anymore, he told himself. A year at the Academy, a year of study and battle and caffeine withdrawal had changed him. It had to. The question was: Changed him into what?

-------------------

She’d given him the wrong time. Of course she had. By the time Simon burst into Jon Cartwright’s room, they were nearly ready to complete the ritual. “You can’t do this,” Simon told them. “All of you, stop and think.” “Why?” Isabelle said. “Just give us one good reason. Persuade us, Simon.” He wasn’t good at speeches. And she knew it. Simon found himself suddenly furious. This was his school; these were his friends. Isabelle didn’t care what happened here. Maybe there was no deeper story, no hidden pain. Maybe she was exactly what she seemed, and no more: a frivolous person who cared only for herself. Something at his core revolted against this thought, but he silenced it. This wasn’t about his nonrelationship with his nongirlfriend. He couldn’t let it be about that. “It’s not just that it’s against the rules,” Simon said. How were you supposed to explain something that seemed so obvious? It was like trying to persuade someone that one plus one equaled two: It just did. “It’s not just that you could get expelled or even taken before the Clave. It’s wrong. Someone could get hurt.” “Someone’s always getting hurt,” George pointed out, ruefully rubbing his elbow, which, just a couple of days before, Julie had nearly sliced off with a broadsword. “Because there’s no other way to learn,” Simon said, exasperated. “Because it’s the best of all bad options. This? This is the opposite of necessary. Is this the kind of Shadowhunter you want to be? The kind that toys with the forces of darkness because you think you can handle it? Have you never seen a movie? Read a comic book? That’s always how it starts—just a little temptation, just a little taste of evil, and then bam, your lightsaber turns red and you’re breathing through a big black mask and slicing off your son’s hand just to be mean.” They looked at him blankly. “Forget it.” It was funny, Shadowhunters knew more than mundanes about almost everything. They knew more about demons, about weapons, about the currents of power and magic that shaped the world. But they didn’t understand temptation. They didn’t understand how easy it was to make one small, terrible choice after another until you’d slid down the slippery slope into the pit of hell. Dura lex—the Law is hard. So hard that the Shadowhunters had to pretend it was possible to be perfect. It was the one thing Simon had taken from Robert’s lectures about the Circle. Once Shadowhunters started to slide, they didn’t stop. “The point is, this is a no-win situation. Either your stupid imp gets out of control and eats a bunch of students—or it doesn’t, and so you decide next time you can summon a bigger demon. And that one eats you. That is the definition of a lose-lose situation.” “He makes a fair point,” Julie said. “Not as dumb as he looks,” Jon admitted. George cleared his throat. “Maybe—” “Maybe we should get on with things,” Isabelle said, and tossed her silky black hair and blinked her large, bottomless eyes and smiled her irresistible smile—and as if she’d cast some witchy spell over the room, everyone forgot Simon existed and busied themselves with the work of raising a demon. He’d done everything he could do here. There was only one option left. He ran away.

[lindoig1]

Driving to Tehran   Day 27

Did I speak too soon?

We had a pleasant drive to Tehran today. It took almost 7 hours, but an hour of that was caused by our poor driver getting lost again in the chaotic maze that seems to be normal here. We eventually arrived after circumnavigating most of the city a couple of times and the driver was probably as relieved as we were. I hope he manages to find his way out to wherever he intends to stay tonight.

A couple of ad hoc observations largely unrelated to the drive, but prompted by our drive out of Isfahan and into Tehran. Right through Asia, I have been really impressed with the extensive parkland beside the roads in the cities, with sometimes very extensive gardens in the middle of divided roads too. In Australia, we have plenty of parks, but they are destinations - you have to go to them. Here, they are more in the nature of routes - they are just there, right on the main roads into the very centre of the cities. They are well-patronised and are wonderful cool green oases amid the turmoil of daily life, lots of big shady trees, water features (not sure where the water comes from in the deserts), lawns, gardens and paths, always spotlessly clean and tidy. Listen up Australia!

In several places we have been, particularly Isfahan, there are more than enough steps, but the risers are enormous, making them very steep - quite impossible for anyone with a mobility issue and even a bit of a challenge for us young people sometimes. We asked about it and were told that it was a deliberate policy to save on construction materials - but if they saved much more, they wouldn’t need to build anything at all because anything they built would be inaccessible anyway.

We also commented on the almost complete absence of safety gear - crash helmets, use of seat belts, etc., but also larger things like no protective scaffolding around high rise construction sites. It turns out that helmets are compulsory so we asked about enforcement. It is pretty weak and helmets are at the bottom of the heap. The fine is trivial, but the vehicle is confiscated for a week. For most other traffic offences (and driving/riding against the traffic is very common), if you happen to be the unlucky one in a million that gets pinged, you lose your vehicle for at least 3 months. Not sure about speeding, but there must have been a pair of cops with a radar gun every 15 or 20 clicks right along the 400+ km drive we had today. Everyone seems to speed excessively, but maybe the radar guns are faulty. I only saw one vehicle that had been stopped.

We actually saw lots of cars stopped, but not by the police. Most had the bonnets up with sad-looking people peering inside. But the saddest one was a Blue Mule that lost a front wheel and careened into the retaining fence, spilling the mountain of watermelons he was carrying all across the road. Most had burst open causing a horrendous mess that they were trying to sweep off the road with hundreds of cars screaming past at high speed. It could well have been some poor farmer’s entire year’s crop and I felt very sorry for him and his family.

Did I hear someone ask what a Blue Mule was? There are probably millions of them in Iran. They are mainly Nissan Zamyad pickups - big utes or small trucks invariably painted bright blue. They are the workhorse of Iran and you are very rarely out of sight of at least one or five. They mostly look to be wrecks, but carry absolutely ginormous loads, often towering more than twice the height and extending well beyond both sides of the vehicle. They started out as Nissan Juniors in 1953, but they eventually went out of production and Iran took up the challenge and now builds them itself under various brand names, but they are ubiquitous clapped out jalopies that keep the national economy in business. Just happens that they are all painted bright blue.

Back to the drive today..... it was through very dry desert with just occasional areas of irrigated green. From horizon to horizon it was dead flat except for the mountains! I mentioned this on the train into Isfahan, but it was even more marked today. There were no trees and where there was any vegetation, it was all less than half a metre high. It must be some of the least productive land we have seen since we left home. Did I say that it is flat, totally flat. But the mountains were spectacular - can we come up with some better words? We drove right through the mountains for an hour or so, but nearly all the way to Tehran, there were huge areas of quite high mountains, serried rows one behind the other lost in a whitish-grey haze that blanketed everything all day. The colours were remarkable from total black through every conceivable shade of grey, brown and yellow, creams, beiges, fawns - all those fancy colours that I can’t identify, through to some occasional white areas. Never saw much red, very little green and the only blues were in the sky and the thousands of Blue Mules. But the mountains took every shape imaginable, bulging and bristling, rugged and rocky, jagged peaks, bladeless for the most part with just an occasional straggly bush, dramatically dead, horribly harsh, a little alliteration the only thing sprouting! The rock strata was often so convoluted, one mountain had an almost circular twist of hard rocky strata adorning its side, but there seemed no end to the twists and turns the mountains and valleys formed. One could not help but wonder at the ancient forces that wrought such astounding formations and the eons of erosion that brought them to their present shapes. And they went on astonishing us for hundreds of kilometres.

We stopped about midway for lunch. It wasn’t quite MacDonalds, but its Iranian equivalent. Heather had fries, I ordered a hot dog - it was a Mastiff or a Russian Hunting Dog, I think. It was mammoth and with the best will in the world, I managed about half of it. Be careful what you wish for! It was the first western food we have seen, but it was huge even by western standards. We have been totally uninspired by the food, particularly since we left Beijing. It is OK, but the choices are narrow and tend to replicate themselves. They are all pretty bland too and we are hanging out for something quite different so lunch was a taste treat, despite the very few choices and difficulty in selecting from an Iranian menu. Dinner tonight will be a local version of spag bols - I wonder how they will corrupt that!

Anywhere there is a town, even a tiny village, there are domes and towers. Not sure that they are always mosques, but they stand out from all the single storey buildings around them. We have certainly seen many substantial shopping centres, down to quite small roadside stalls that appear to use them as ornamentation, perhaps for advertising, marketing differentiation, signs of (false) piety to attract custom, or whatever. The domes are usually silver or gold, some are ‘turquoise turbans’, but I also saw a couple that looked like terracotta today. The towers are more varied, usually towering (naturally!) over their surrounds with a variety of tops. Some are obviously minarets, but there are many different designs - the spice of life. But anywhere there is more than a handful of houses, there seems to be this reflection of Islam, whether as a symbol of Islam or a take-off for baser commercial purposes.

The traffic in Tehran is perhaps even more crazy than we have seen so far. The main roads seem mainly to be 3 lanes, each perhaps 2.5 or 3 metres wide and it is sometimes difficult to get the 7 or 8 cars and trucks abreast to fit into the space, causing great consternation on the part of the more aggressive. It constantly amazes me how fast and smoothly traffic flows. Everyone must know the exact width of their vehicles because passing at speed with less than a centimetre or so on either side seems almost obligatory. They must also have boundless confidence that when they move from one chaotic line of cars to another 4 or 5 lines across, all other vehicles will give way - and they do! In traffic travelling at 80 or 90 kmh, the distance to the car in front is rarely more than half a car length and the two-wheelers take constant advantage of that and zip through at great speed. We saw what looked like two very minor scrapes today - but there should have been at least 2000.

Exceedingly poor internet here again. Spent an hour or so trying to find a better arrangement this arvo, but alas, no go. Interestingly, the hotel’s instructions on how to get online if you have trouble say to go online to their server site and do it from there. How do I go online to do that if the reason I need to do it is because I can’t get online? And one additional little factor is that their server site is blocked by the great Islamic Firewall.

Have now eaten and are back in the room. The spag bols was OK, but uninspiring. Maybe we need to look for a Maccas?

There is some rather violent thunder happening outside at present. It would be nice if it rained to cool things down and banish the worst of the fog, but the forecast is still for fine and 32. Oh well, we can’t change that!

[losingweightintheuk]

Stop demonising food!

These days it's normal in society to classify certain foods as "healthy" and "unhealthy". Or in "good for you" and "not good for you". This way of thinking does not only harm obese people, but simply everyone, regardless of their weight.

Disclaimer: at all times I refer to healthy people; it's not about allergies, intolerances or ailments. The eco-footprint is also a separate issue.

Chocolate is not bad. Pasta is not bad. Cake is not bad. Potatoes are not bad. Pizza is not bad. Crisps are not bad.

I could go on and on. I know, it's popular to say that this or that makes you fat. But this is not the case per se and it is important to finally emphasise this difference again. For I have the feeling that a lot of people have lost a sensible, self-confident and self-determined approach to food.

One gains weight if they consume too many calories for a longer period, and don't burn enough calories at the same time, to compensate for an exorbitant calorie intake.

One does not gain weight, because they had a pizza. One does not even have to gain weight if they eat pizza every single day. That is why it is important to not put bees into people's bonnets. Please, stop this finally.

Why it is important to not demonise food

Such statements, or "philosophies" I may say, can cause massive damage. It starts with wannabe-dietitians, who think they could press everyone overweight into a template, and ends with insecure people, whether they're obese, slim or normal. People who even give themselves a guilty conscience because they had a pizza or a piece of cake. It's not only about "the obese", it affects the whole society; it partially begins in childhood.

"But 'they' devour a whole chocolate bar! Or two! This makes you fat!", I hear them calling. These croaks of fire-bellied toads is the exact reason, why some people don't even start to think about their diet. There is no collective of "the obese", that you can lump all together. Obesity has many facets.

The problem is, that all people with too much weight are seen as lazy, undisciplined and self-indulgent. "That fat person visits the fast food restaurant every day! Yikes, so fat, but still shoving a burger down their throat!", as sad as it sounds, some people not only think like that, but also show no hesitation to gob off at someone. An overweight person is not allowed to enjoy. They are not allowed to feast.

I wasn't even able to walk over a Christmas market and eat a waffle without getting malicious gazes or comments.

(That being said, I've not had one single bad experience regarding my weight in England. And I am so relieved!)

Don't get me wrong; of course there are people who, for whatever reason, visit their favourite fast food restaurant every single day, who eat too much and exercise too little. But surely no one really believes that insults and misinformation will do any good, do they?

No, chocolate does not make you fat. No one has to deny themselves chocolate, pizza, pasta or crisps in order to lose weight. For more than a year by now I'm having a homemade pizza on every friday - I repeat: on every friday. I can have ice cream for dessert several times a week, I eat cakes, biscuits, crisps. I've lost more than 40 kg / 88 lbs / 6 stones.

The magic word is not self-denial, but moderation, and if applicable: a healthy mind.

Accusing a person for being just lazy and undisciplined, because they numb their sorrow and frustration with two bars of chocolate, is not helpful. Self-denial can be a vicious blowback. More than once I ate even more after my "failure". It didn't matter any more, I already was a loser . Who cares if I eat one or two bars of chocolate, or even three? Exactly, no one cares. Mockery and malice was to be mine anyway.

"But they can't even eat less!", they sound again. Their horizon is limiting them. In most cases you only see a snapshot of someone's life. No one is entitled to judge. And goodness me, even an obese person is allowed to enjoy eating! There are days when I'm having a sandwich after our pizza, because I am still hungry. Sometimes I crave for something. Then I won't only have ice cream, but a caramel wafer biscuit and homemade banana bread on top. In one single bowl!

Surprise! I don't need this on a regular basis.  

The best thing about this is the unconditional support of my boyfriend. He does not admonish me, he does not "lovingly remind me of my weight loss plan", he does not wrinkle his nose or ask me to exercise more instead. He has the same bowl himself. ❤

For me it is the right thing to do, to allow myself these things. I step on the scales every single day; I know for a fact that this has no effect on my weight in the long run whatsoever.

Maybe it would be easier for overweight people to find moderation, if people would only listen carefully and not judge everyone everywhere. If one would grant them the right to enjoy eating. The right to be lazy. The right to simply do nothing at all. Wouldn't it be good for everyone?

Losing weight does not have to be agony. But people make it out to be, when they praise that you're not allowed anything and must do an absurd amount of exercise. Some even give dangerous advice, like the invitation to throw up after eating, or relativising it; the advice to skip meals or to starve, or simply claim that one needs to consume fewer calories than absolutely necessary in order to lose weight. Recently I came across the suggestion that steamed vegetables would be the only healthy thing to eat. Sherlock, that's not quite how "healthy nutrition" works. By the way, this is only a tiny fracture of all the things obese people have to hear. A sensible, self-confident and self-determined approach to food is literally sabotaged and undermined.

That is the reason why I vehemently oppose to divide food into healthy and unhealthy, into good and bad. That's why I say: Nope, chocolate does not make you fat. More differentiation is needed. Overweight people need to be treated with respect.

Realistic plans are important, suited to oneself. Solving the root of the problem, not just laminate symptoms. Without the feeling to sin, when one is eating more. Without the bad conscience, when one exercises less. But hopefully with lots of love and support.

[writteninsunshine]

I Don’t Want To Feel The Emptiness - Axel/Demyx - SFW

Title: I Don’t Want To Feel The Emptiness

Author: Donnie

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts

Setting: Delphi Beach (Hercules)

Pairing: Axel/Demyx

Characters: Axel, Demyx, Saïx, Xemnas, Vexen, Roxas

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance

Rating: T

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 1354

Type Of Work: One-Shot, Part of the 8 Days Of Axel Series

Status: Complete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, Canon Character Death, Demyx is Anxious about Vexen’s Death, Post CoM but before II, Demyx was in Thebes and went to Delphi for the beach, Vague mentions of Aquaphobia

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Summary: Collecting Demyx wasn’t all fun and games like it should have been.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have Twitter and Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD I can PM it to people who want it on FFN, for everyone else, it’s here: https://discord.gg/FyaWw25

So, originally this fic was titled Sunset Strip, and as I was writing it… Well, the song by Cake was stuck in my head but I kept going to the next line, I Don’t Want To Feel The Emptiness. We’ll see if it changes again or not before I post it.

Anyway, so, I’m finally trying to write again. I was late to the party for the 8 Days of Axel event, but I’m joining it anyway. This is day 2, late, naturally. I’m working on day 3 for today as soon as I finish editing this and getting it posted. I’m gonna try and catch up, at the very least. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Kingdom Hearts Fic Masterlist

I Don't Want To Feel The Emptiness

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Always trust Demyx to find a beach anywhere he went and spend his entire day staring longingly into the waves. Axel had been sent to find him, considering he should have checked in with Saïx by now, and simply hadn’t shown up. It seemed the redhead was always going off to find someone, to fetch someone, to eliminate someone. At least, this time, Demyx just needed to be plucked from the warm sunset sands of the beach in Delphi, and not killed. While it was a solid day or so away from Thebes, it didn’t take nearly as long to get there thanks to the Corridors of Darkness.

Stepping out of the swirling, lapping darkness aiming to find a strip of skin, Axel reached up to pluck his hood from the top of his head, guiding it down to rest on his shoulders. Just as he suspected, Demyx sat on the pristine white sand, hood down, strumming away at his sitar, drawing songs from it he’d never heard before. He hummed here and there, as though he might let his voice rise with the music, but it never came. Axel was used to watching Demyx play but now wasn’t the time; Even if he figured Saïx would much rather sit and listen just the same as he did. 

As he finally strode over, Demyx looked up from where his eyes melted into the ocean, shaken from his thoughts by the tinkling of metal on Axel’s coat. A warm, easy smile worked over Demyx’s lips as he peered up at him, teal meeting green for a split second before Axel looked away.

“What’s up, Axe?” Demyx asked, his fingers never once leaving the strings of his sitar, “Not often you come to check me out when I’m--” Those eyes went wide and his jaw went slack for a split second, then he jolted forward and his sitar dissipated into a puddle in his lap. “Working.” 

“Yeah, man, you forget about something?” Axel couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath, shaking out his mane as he turned his eyes up to the sunset. “Saïx said something about a report on Hades?”

“I-- I totally, definitely did that.” Demyx pointed towards the sky, his hands moving at a hundred miles per hour as he tried his best to write the report in the air with all of the words falling out of his mouth. Axel rose a brow at him, smirk in place as he listened to the stuttering, half-thought-out rearranged dictionary trying to explain what Demyx had been up to until Axel finally held up a hand.

“That’s between you and Saïx, Dem. For now,” He glanced out over the water, saw the reflections of oranges, pinks and blues on the slowly lapping surface, and a soft, tender smile overcame his face, “Let’s just watch the sunset. I’ll take the fall for the next ten minutes.” Ten minutes, indeed.

The instant switch being flipped from panic to relaxation could have made a lesser man’s head spin, but Demyx took it in such stride that Axel got the emotional whiplash, instead. Hands behind him to rest in the soft, warm sand, Demyx leaned his weight on them and shifted his legs out in front of him, absently nodding beside himself. He hoped Axel would join him; It had been a while since the two of them had just vegetated together.

“Then get down here and sit with me.” His voice was melodic in a way that lulled even Axel into a sense of safety, and he settled in beside the other despite how close they were to the lapping waves. Water made him anxious sometimes, but Demyx’s presence definitely made things seem less threatening. Much as Demyx could be a one-man party, he knew when to exude calm in waves. Saïx always got to see the more relaxed side of Demyx, though the blond was careful to try and hide the side of him that was so relaxed he got Roxas to do most of his work for him. Not that he thought Saïx was stupid enough to think he didn’t do it.

Axel brought one knee up, the other leg straight out in front of him, as he pressed one hand behind him into the sand and the other elbow pressed into his knee. Chin in his hand, he hummed a little.

“Man, I’d kill for some sea salt ice cream right about now.” He sighed dreamily, eyes on the sky as it blossomed from red to blue in a rapidly melting display of light and color. 

“Kill?” Demyx laughed softly, shaking his head as he let it hang back between his shoulders for a second, “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?” Was it easy to see his thinly veiled anxiety? Probably. Even Roxas would have been able to see the uncomfortable line his shoulders had become.

“Aw, c’mon, Dem, I’d never--” But how could Demyx know that? After what had happened with Vexen, everyone had started treating him a little (or a lot) differently. Brows drawing in and his good mood ruined, Axel pursed his lips, “I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Because you can’t light water on fire or because you…” Care. The word died on Demyx’s lips, and the two men simply stared at the sky for another minute or two in uneasy silence. Demyx wished he hadn’t opened his big, fat mouth, and Axel’s desire for ice cream went beyond his simply being accustomed to getting it every evening. It would also be a good excuse not to talk to one another, better than simply trying to find anything at all to focus on that wasn’t sitting right beside them.

“Look, Dem, I… What happened with Vexen wasn’t…” Nobody had listened to his side of the story, and now that an opportunity to explain himself had arisen, Axel didn’t have the words. Demyx’s clear anxiety only made him want to change the subject because if the sitarist wanted to run, he would at the drop of a hat. Somehow, he hadn’t, yet, and Axel needed to do something, anything to keep him rooted to his spot.

“Nah, man, it’s--” Demyx turned to look at Axel just in time for the redhead to lean in and kiss his cheek. After a second, the blond turned his head, brushing their lips together softly, just as the last rays of sunshine slipped beneath the horizon. While he was surprised, Axel gently caressed Demyx’s cheek, leaning into the kiss more until he finally pulled back with a little smile. 

“What was that for?” Axel questioned, head tilting slightly as his smile turned into a full-blown smirk.

“I… Miss feeling safe with you.” Demyx muttered, his eyes finding the leather of his coat pressed into his knees, “If it wasn’t… If Vexen wasn’t… Your fault, then it wasn’t. Right?” He still looked flighty, but at least he was glued to the sand, warm and soft as it was beneath him.

“Yeah… Yeah, that sounds about right.” Axel nodded with a little smile, his eyes turning tender and his expression softening considerably, “Don’t worry, Dem, I’d never hurt you.” There was no reason to, and he didn’t think he could if he wanted to.

Their lips joined once more, and they held it until the stars above them twinkled a warning. They were definitely forgetting something. It took an hour of kissing on the beach before Demyx broke it, his eyes wide again.

“We have to go!” He exclaimed, “Didn’t you come to get me for Saïx?”

“Crap--” Axel joined Demyx’s mad scramble to get to his feet, “Yeah, we better head out.”

The Corridor of Darkness could only carry them so fast, and the fact that they both knew they’d be getting chewed out when they got to the end didn’t make them go any faster. Saïx didn’t take too kindly to being kept waiting, if only because the Superior didn’t like to be kept waiting.

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AN: Welp, there we have it, the first piece for the 8 Days Of Axel that I’ve completed. I want to try and get to the next ones, too, and go back and do day one because I was really late. xD Writing these in one day seems to be a bit of an issue but hopefully, today is better for focusing than yesterday was.

Prompt: 8 Days Of Axel Day 2 Sunsets

[alyseinpalace]

Chapter 30 - Harvest time

Grace had a hunch Nara was up to something, and it had something to do with Imperial Concubine Ling. After Nara told Ji Fei about Xian Fei’s adultery, and ever since the Emperor gave a persian cat to Imperial Concubine Ling, she had been extremely amiable and attentive towards the imperial concubine, and even the cat! Grace knew Nara had an strong aversion to dogs, so it was probable true that she was a cat person. But to like Imperial Concubine Ling’s cat so much that she would personally make treats for it? A treat which required ludicrous amount of effort?

First, Grace would have to ask for chunks of cooked fish, steamed sweet potato and fried peanuts from the kitchen when she collected their meals. Of course there was no such thing as a free lunch. Or free ingredients. Nara gave the junior cook tips on Qi Fei and Ji Fei’s favourite food and promised to mention his name as the one who helped to prepare their pickled vegetables. But naturally, Grace had never heard her mentioned anything to the consorts. In fact, she suspected that Nara had already forgotten his name.

Next, Nara would use a mortar to mash the fish and sweet potato together, then rolled them into small balls and coated them with the peanuts she already crushed to powder form. She would then ask Grace to leave the tray of fish balls outside the house to let the cold night wind harden them. Nobody would make such troublesome treat for a cat that does not belong to them. Especially not Nara. There was something fishy about it. Grace reminded herself perhaps she should flip through Alyse’s journal and check if Imperial Concubine Ling was going to be Nara’s next victim.  

One late afternoon, Nara packed some cat treats into a cloth package and told Grace they were visiting Imperial Concubine Ling. Grace found it rather odd because they would usually pay respects in the morning, but followed the noble lady anyway. The moment they stepped into the living room of the cosy house shared by the six imperial concubines, Imperial Concubine Ling’s cat strode to Nara and rubbed its body on her leg, meowing for her attention.   

“Oh Nara, my Rong’er likes you so much I think I’m starting to get jealous.” Imperial Concubine Ling chuckled lightly, sitting on her huali wood chair at the end of the living room. Grace wondered if that chubby imperial concubine had been sitting on her arse the whole day.

“Don’t worry, my Lady. I’m sure Rong’er knows who is her owner.” Nara smiled as she squatted down to pet the cat’s head tenderly. The moment she took the small package out of her gown, the cat meowed even louder. She took one ball out of the package and offered it to the cat on her palm, and it snatched it away with its paw immediately. Grace was pretty certain, the cat liked the treat more than it liked Nara.

“And you still haven’t told me what are the secret ingredients in this snack so that I can ask Dethenggo to prepare!” Imperial Concubine Ling waited for Nara to stand back up and beckoned her over.

“Don’t worry, my Lady. I can keep making it for Rong’er. I don’t wish to trouble Dethenggo.” Nara curtsied before sitting on the guest chair diagonally facing Imperial Concubine Ling, not forgetting to give the imperial concubine’s attendant a smile.

“You’re too kind, Nara! And talented! Not like my Dethenggo!” Imperial Concubine Ling grinned and Grace found her unbelievably crude to say that when her attendant was just standing next to her!

The two women had some small talk, mainly with Imperial Concubine Ling spending most of the time bragging about how sweet the Emperor was towards her, like how he asked the eunuchs to bring her favourite desserts to her. Nara was smiling and nodding in acknowledgement all the time. Then suddenly Nara grasped her hands together beneath her chin like she had a superb idea.

“My Lady, when we were walking over, I noticed that the sky was clear. Why don’t we bring Rong’er to the garden and watch the sunset?”

“Walk to the garden again? I just went there yesterday...” Imperial Concubine Ling was apparently a tad hesitant.

“But not to watch the sunset! And I’m pretty sure Rong’er would love to get out of the house after staying indoor the whole day!”

“Well, I guess you’re right… But you’ll have to make sure she doesn’t climb up the tree again!”

“I promise to keep an eye on her, my Lady.” Nara flashed her sweetest smile. The kind of smile that confirmed Grace’s suspicion that she had something up her sleeve.

Nara was pleased that the imperial concubine had followed her plan unknowingly, oblivious to the peril awaiting her. She had sowed the seeds for so long, she wanted to taste the fruit today. When Imperial Concubine Ling and Nara and their respective attendants arrived at the garden, the lower portion of the sky was already in a tangerine shade.

“I’m sure the sunset is going to be beautiful today, my Lady.” Nara promised with a smile.

“I believe you’re right.” The imperial concubine nodded in satisfaction and let the cat onto the ground. “Don’t run too far away, Rong’er. Understand?” Of course the cat ignored her and sauntered away.

“Shall we sit in the pavilion, my Lady?”

“Of course! I’m not going to watch the sunset standing!” Imperial Concubine Ling chuckled and walked towards the pavilion. Nara took the opportunity to case the garden and was glad that they were the only four people in the garden.

As the women resumed their small talks, the sun had moved closer to the orange horizon. It was still bright, but had transformed from a bright white pearl into a yellow apricot. The garden was getting slightly dim, albeit not dark enough to light a lantern. Nara reckoned she should move on to the next step in her plan.

“My Lady, do you know what’s the perfect companion to a beautiful sunset?” Nara asked with a smirk.

“Hmm… snacks?” It took Imperial Concubine Ling a while to answer.

“You’re right, my Lady! And a good pot of tea!”

“Oh that’s why I said you’re so smart, Nara!” The imperial concubine chuckled and turned to Dethenggo. “Go back and get us some snacks and a pot of hot tea.”

“Yes, my Lady.” Dethenggo curtsied and turned to walk away.

“Geleishiyi, you should help Dethenggo too.” Nara instructed Grace with a smile.

“Yes, my Lady.” Grace followed the other attendant, with a gut feeling that Nara had dismissed her on purpose.

As Nara watched the two attendants walked out of the garden, she took a few slow breath to calm her nerves and her slightly trembling hands. It was time to do what she had planned for so long. This was the opportunity she had been waiting for, and now she had to proceed without looking back.

“Oh, I think I should get Rong’er back in case she wanders too far away.” Nara stood up, her brows furrowed with concern.

“Of course, yes!” Imperial Concubine Ling nodded in agreement.

“Rong’er! Where are you dear?” Nara shouted as she walked out of the pavilion and onto the grass. There was no response. Carefully, she squatted down at the edge of the pond with her back facing the pavilion and took the small package of cat treats out of her gown and unwrapped it. Just as she had expected, the cat appeared from one of the bushes and ran towards her, meowing loudly. “Come here, Rong’er!” She beckoned and the cat answered.

“I’m sorry, Rong’er.” Nara muttered softly as she offered a fish ball to the cat. But this time when the cat tried to snatch it with its paw, she flung the ball into the center of the pond. And then the cat did what she wished it would. It jumped right into the pond.

“Oh no! No! Rong’er!” Nara yelled at the top of her voice and Imperial Concubine Ling rushed over immediately when she heard her cat’s name.

“What happened?! No! Rong’er!” She was stunned when she saw her precious cat struggling in the water.

“I… I don’t know what happened! She just jumped in!” Nara grabbed the imperial concubine’s sleeve, her voice shuddering.

“Rong’er… I think Rong’er can’t swim!”

“You need to save Rong’er, my Lady!”

“But I can’t swim too!”

“But if you don’t save her… His Majesty will be so furious!” Nara reminded Imperial Concubine Ling.

“You’re right! I have to save Rong’er!”

The imperial concubine took off her heels and jumped into the pond, stumbling towards the struggling cat that meowed incessantly. But eventually the water level reached her nose and she started to hyperventilate and gasp for air, her arms slapping on the water as she attempted to stay afloat. Nara knew the imperial concubine had reached the point where her feet could not touch the ground.

“Nara! Help me!” Imperial Concubine Ling screamed and choked as she swallowed more water.

“You’re fine! Just reach out to grab Rong’er and swim back! She’s just there!” Nara yelled back, pointing to the struggling cat which did seemed within reach and its meowing was getting softer. “Quick! She’s dying!”

Just as Nara expected, Imperial Concubine Ling tried to reach her hand out to the drowning cat, not realising that the pond would get deeper the further she moved towards it. But Nara knew. She had threw a heavy rock tied with a yarn into the pond so many times to measure its depth. To be certain that the pond was deep enough. She guessed this was what Geleishiyi meant by data collection.

Nara watched impassively as Imperial Concubine Ling drowned. Her arms moved frantically as she bopped up and down, she was swallowing too much water to scream for help. It took just a little while longer, and her head disappeared below the water. Just like the cat. Nara smiled as she looked up to the grayish blue sky, now tainted by reddish orange. As ripe as the fruit she could finally pluck from the plant she had so painstakingly watered and taken care of.  

When she heard footsteps walking towards the quiet garden, Nara took a deep breath and ran over to the two women returning. “Imperial Concubine Ling! She has… she has drowned!” Nara screamed as she grabbed Dethenggo’s arms.